Where has the month gone? Where?!?!?! Can you believe that January 2016 is actually over? Because I'm struggling to come to terms with it if I'm completely honest. Is time going faster or am I just getting older and therefore more aware of it? I don't know but I'm not sure I like it. But for now I'll grin and bear it and say a hearty "welcome" to February and all that it will bring.
Life is short. We know that. That phrase is thrown about all the time, sometimes as an excuse for recklessness, sometimes as an actual fact and sometimes just to fill awkward silences. Okay so granted, saying "life is short" in an awkward silence is probably gonna make things more awkward. In fact it will. Don't say it. I've done it before and the person backed away slowly thinking I was about to kill him.
But anyway, life is short. There's no two ways about it. You have your allotted time on this earth and once it's up, it's up. Some of us have longer than others but the reason we throw the phrase about so much is because the more we go on, the more we realise this. Loved ones leave us way before their time more and more and it's a terrifying fact of life. I've lost many people close to me and it never seems to get easier to deal with, but why should it? Death is a harsh reality that we have to deal with.
I don't care how cliche this sounds but tell the people you love that you love them. Tell people how much they mean to you. Write that book that you always wanted to write. Showcase those drawings you always wanted to get out there. Upload that singing video to YouTube. Shoot your shot. Post that vlog with those anecdotes you were nervous about. Reach those goals. Be who you want to be and the best version of that. Because our time is limited. Why not use that time to be as happy as we can be?
That's all easier said than done of course, but sometimes we're so stuck with thoughts of "I can't" that we fail to make ways to make things work. That's all. Just a little reminder that you deserve to be happy too, not just those around you.
Keep smiling folks, as hard as that may be at times.
Ditzy xXx
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Ditzy Polka Dot's Randoms
Monday 1 February 2016
Pinch, Punch First Day Of The Month!
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Sunday 31 January 2016
I'm Back! Hello From The Other Side (. . . and other cringe-worthy song violating titles you can think of. . . )
Ugh how long has it been since I last spoke to you guys?! I'll tell you how long. . . 17 months! And I know that sounds like an overbearing mother saying her child is 24 months instead of simply 2 years old but I needed to emphasise the enormity of the matter. 17 months of no pointless ramblings from a slightly demented, verbally gesticular heap of a person. "Verbally gesticular" isn't really a term by the way but it seems fitting for how I feel. In fact, "gesticular" isn't a word but it doesn't matter because it's satisfying to say. Say it. . . "gesticular". Glorious, right?
So, if you've followed my trail of pandemonium, you'll know that I started doing vlogs on YouTube. It was just another platform I wanted to try out since I love talking so much and to be honest, my friends seemed to enjoy them as much as I liked making them so that was pretty rewarding in itself.
Then I got ill.
Now I'm on the road to recovery. So I thought I'd say hi, inform you that I'm not dead and let you know that I plan to be here to stay. I miss writing my scattered thoughts down and I miss hearing your reactions to my posts. So I've decided to start blogging again, with maybe the occasional vlog thrown about here and there for good measure.
A lot has happened over the past year or so but I feel like it'd be redundant to talk about it all. Though it has to be said, despite everything, my love of food is still heartily intact. So I'm almost back to my old self with a bit more wisdom and a smidgen more body fat but ya know what? That's okay. Because I'm in a pretty bright place right now. And nope, it's not because I have a 100 watt light bulb in my lamp (don't ask).
So basically this is my big:
Okay I had a lot of fun writing that. It was totally unplanned. I intended to just write "this is my big "hello, it's me, I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to read" but then it escalated like a Bollywood movie/Telenovela explosion (yep, I'm hooked on Jane The Virgin). It's actually so cringey it's giving me butterflies but I can't have a big Adele-like break and not come back in Adele-like manner, can I?
So anyway, let me leave before I absolutely, unapologetically obliterate another song.
Keep smiling, folks!
Ditzy xXx
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So, if you've followed my trail of pandemonium, you'll know that I started doing vlogs on YouTube. It was just another platform I wanted to try out since I love talking so much and to be honest, my friends seemed to enjoy them as much as I liked making them so that was pretty rewarding in itself.
Then I got ill.
********** SHOCK **********
********** HORROR *********
********** DISASTER **********
***boo hoo/sob sob/waterworks/sighs of pity/too bad/oh what shame/life goes on***
Now I'm on the road to recovery. So I thought I'd say hi, inform you that I'm not dead and let you know that I plan to be here to stay. I miss writing my scattered thoughts down and I miss hearing your reactions to my posts. So I've decided to start blogging again, with maybe the occasional vlog thrown about here and there for good measure.
A lot has happened over the past year or so but I feel like it'd be redundant to talk about it all. Though it has to be said, despite everything, my love of food is still heartily intact. So I'm almost back to my old self with a bit more wisdom and a smidgen more body fat but ya know what? That's okay. Because I'm in a pretty bright place right now. And nope, it's not because I have a 100 watt light bulb in my lamp (don't ask).
So basically this is my big:
"Hello, it's me,
I was wondering if after all these months you'd like to read,
To go over everything.
They say that times supposed to heal ya,
And I've done quite a lot of healing actually.
Hello, can you see this?
I'm sat behind this screen in England with a cup of tea.
And it's raining. . . and cold,
I've forgotten how it felt to be able to feel my feet.
There's such a difference, between my posts
And a million thoughts.
Hello from the other side
I must've wrote a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry for not posting so much
But when I sit down to write, my brain turns to mulch
Hello from the outside
At least this post that I've designed
Is something that I'm a little bit proud of.
And I hope that you think it's not -overly soft
For a blog."
Okay I had a lot of fun writing that. It was totally unplanned. I intended to just write "this is my big "hello, it's me, I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to read" but then it escalated like a Bollywood movie/Telenovela explosion (yep, I'm hooked on Jane The Virgin). It's actually so cringey it's giving me butterflies but I can't have a big Adele-like break and not come back in Adele-like manner, can I?
So anyway, let me leave before I absolutely, unapologetically obliterate another song.
Keep smiling, folks!
Ditzy xXx
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Wednesday 27 August 2014
But Doctor, I am Pagliacci. . . In Memory of Robin Williams
The shocking news of much loved comedian, actor and filmmaker Robin Williams passing away stunned and broke the hearts of millions around the world on Monday 11th August 2014. However, finding out that the cause of death was suicide was something that tore many apart even more. How could someone so seemingly joyous, who had the gift to make millions of people around the world laugh until they couldn't speak, feel that the answer to all his problems was to end his life? How were we all so oblivious of this absolute suffering and heartache this man was going through?
You may think it's weird that I'm writing about this now, 2 weeks after it happened. To be honest, when I first heard about it, I thought of writing a post, just to express the shock and devastation and also to raise awareness of how truly awful depression can be. But then, after composing my thoughts, I thought I'd give it a bit of time. When we're upset, we tend to say things we don't mean. It's difficult to rationalise your thoughts, especially when you're talking about something that you feel very strongly about. So I didn't want this to be an angry post. I wanted it to reflect positively on Mr Williams, showing what a great man he was, despite the struggles he faced. Another thing, I knew that people would be looking up Robin Williams a lot and I didn't want to seem like I was cashing in on that. So all in all, that's basically why I thought I'd wait a bit to write this.
When I think of Robin Williams, I immediately think of Mrs Doubtfire and Patch Adams. I think they're the main films that stand out to me because I really believe he was similar to the characters that he played. Personally growing up without a dad, I used to love the idea of the sort of dad he played in Mrs Doubtfire; fun, loving, caring and willing to do anything for his children who he loved so much. Also, having a lot of experiences with doctors in my life, I loved the idea of the unorthodox, fun, child centred approach of Patch Adams. From what I've read, Robin Williams seemed to be that sort of person. For example, he once said this about his children:
You may think it's weird that I'm writing about this now, 2 weeks after it happened. To be honest, when I first heard about it, I thought of writing a post, just to express the shock and devastation and also to raise awareness of how truly awful depression can be. But then, after composing my thoughts, I thought I'd give it a bit of time. When we're upset, we tend to say things we don't mean. It's difficult to rationalise your thoughts, especially when you're talking about something that you feel very strongly about. So I didn't want this to be an angry post. I wanted it to reflect positively on Mr Williams, showing what a great man he was, despite the struggles he faced. Another thing, I knew that people would be looking up Robin Williams a lot and I didn't want to seem like I was cashing in on that. So all in all, that's basically why I thought I'd wait a bit to write this.
Robin Williams: The Man With No Limits
"My children give me a great sense of wonder. Just to see them develop into these extraordinary human beings."
So the man wasn't perfect. He'd a had a tough life, with his time as a stand up comedian on the road being the main culprit for his turning to drugs and alcohol. This obviously had a massive negative impact on his life. In fact, it was the birth of his son that made him quit the drugs.
He was also close friends with Christopher Reeve. Reeve said that Robin was the first man to make him laugh after his accident. In fact, here's the insert of what Reeve had to say (taken from Wikipedia. . . Yes, such a trustworthy source!). He was about to undergo surgery to reattach his skull to his spine and was obviously terrified, experiencing a lot of anguish:
" "I already knew that I had only a fifty-fifty chance of surviving the surgery. Then, at an especially bleak moment, the door flew open and in hurried a squat fellow with a blue scrub hat and a yellow surgical gown and glasses, speaking in a Russian accent." The man announced that he was a proctologist and was going to perform a rectal exam on Reeve. It was Robin Williams, reprising his character from the film 'Nine Months'. Reeve wrote: "For the first time since the accident, I laughed. My old friend had helped me know that somehow I was going to be okay". "
Williams & Christopher met as students at Julliard. |
What an amazing individual. Robin promised to do everything to help Christopher. After Reeve's medical insurance ran out, Williams paid for the bills out of his own pocket. Reeve passes away in 2004 and his wife Dana died in 2006. Williams went on to provide both physical and financial support to Dana and Christopher Reeve's 14 year old son.
You don't have to be a genius to know that Robin Williams evidently had a heart of absolute gold. So he made mistakes just like everyone does, but he had heart, soul and the want to just make people happy; to make them laugh.
Just Because I'm Laughing, It Doesn't Mean I'm Happy
Depression is. . . Do you know what? I can't even find a word that describes it. Nothing completely explains it. Nothing completely describes how awful the illness is. Though I think many will agree (particularly those who have suffered from it); when I think of the word "depression", the word "misunderstood" comes to mind immediately. Because the fact of the matter is, even if you have been through depression yourself, you will never fully understand another persons' depression. The struggle is real, and the struggle is individual to each sufferer.
When the world heard about Robin Williams taking his own life, many took to social media to express their feelings. Many were heartfelt tributes, thoughts and memories on how this man helped vast amounts of people all over the world through his films and demeanour. Then there were some who posted careless comments. You know the ridiculous hype:
"How could he be so selfish as to take his own life and leave his family behind".
"Right well he had all the money in the world so how could he have been struggling"
"He seemed happy enough."
"He had everything! He had no reason to be unhappy!"
These comments are heartless, cruel and so disgustingly naive. I think the worst thing about a chronic illness that you can't physically see is that no one realises how much it's killing you. If someone was visibly covered in bandages from head to toe, people would understand. But you can't do that with depression. There is often no physical ailment to cover up.
I think with some people, they can't find true happiness themselves, so they just focus on making other people happy instead. See, I'm just relating my own experiences. I've suffered from bad depression in the past. However, it's not something that I wanted to talk about a lot. I find it difficult to talk about my own problems. Ok, so I'm not gonna be ridiculously modest and say I don't like talking about myself because sometimes I do! But when it comes to problems or issues I'm facing, I don't like to open up to people that I know. This is for a few different reasons.
1. I don't want people to worry about me.
2. I don't want people doing things for me. For example, I know if I put statuses on Facebook, my friends (being the amazing people that they are) will text me asking what's up. They'll try to help and I completely appreciate that. But sometimes, I don't want that attention. Sometimes, I just need to vent, but I don't want close people worrying. It's at times like this that I'll vent on Twitter. I get my feelings across but don't have anyone asking me what's up.
3. I find it difficult to trust people.
Humour hides a multitude of emotions |
But you see, when I feel utterly hopeless and just ridiculously down, I sort of give up on happiness. I just think, for the moment, nothing will make me happy, whilst I'm going through this state of emptiness. So I might as well focus on making other people happy. It's weird but I feel some sort of momentary spark of glee when I hear someone laugh from something I've said. It's almost like a two second spark that lights up inside. It literally does only last about 10 seconds, but for that moment I forget my own issues. I feel like my existence isn't completely worthless because I just made that person laugh. I made them a little bit happy. So I must have something in me that's worth the struggle.
This won't make a lot of sense to people. It doesn't completely make sense to me to be honest. But what I'm trying to say is that many people use comedy as an outlet. But just because they use it as an outlet, just because they seem happy, doesn't mean they are. A couple of weeks ago, comedian Jason Manford put the quote from Watchmen on Facebook, sort of to reflect the struggle of people suffering from depression:
"A man goes to the doctor. He says he's depressed. Life seems harsh and cruel and he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. The Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up". The man bursts into tears and says: "But doctor. . . I am Pagliacci". "
Many hide behind the mask of humour, the mask of the clown, just to conceal their real deep dark feelings and emotions. It's a means of escape, but not a permanent one. Song lyrics come to mind; Beautiful by Eminem:
"They're like,
"Ha! Marshall, you're so funny man, you should be a comedian"
Unfortunately I am, but I just hide behind the tears of a clown"
Picking Up The Pieces by Paloma Faith:
"Am I too loud?
I play the clown
To cover up all these doubts"
Too many people do it. But not enough people see the hurt behind the laugh. The scars behind the smile.
Look guys, I'm well aware of how scattered and jumbled this post is. I think it's because even though I was/am a sufferer of depression, it's something that I will never fully understand and it's because of this that my emotions and my own body catch me by surprise sometimes. But I hope this gives some of you even the tiniest bit of understanding. Depression is something that billions of people suffer from, from mild forms to severe forms, but very few people actually understand it.
We don't know what the next person is going through. Some might call others attention seekers but you don't feel attention when your dead. And yeah, some might be attention seekers, doing stupid things to get the attention of others. But why do they need that attention? Maybe it's a cry for help out of utter desperation?
Humour is a beautiful thing and being made to laugh is one of the best things in life. Having the ability to make people laugh is a gift. I truly believe that. And Robin Williams had that gift more that anyone. But those people that make you laugh, those that make you the happiest, those that seem the happiest they could be; these could be the ones going through the most heartache. We don't know each others struggles. But we can be there. Because we all need friends. And we all crave someone who understands.
Seek help. No one will judge.
Keep smiling folks, however hard it may be at times.
Ditzy xXx
Keep smiling folks, however hard it may be at times.
Ditzy xXx
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Instagram: @ditzypolkadotThursday 24 July 2014
DiaWHATtes?
So most of you already know that I have Type 1 Diabetes. I've had it for 13 and a half years (since I was 6 years old) and I've been an insulin pump user for 2 and a half years and my pumps name is Patrick Jr. (my first pump died after a year of having it and his name was Patrick). Anyway, the reason I bring all this up is because a recent news story caught my interest. It was about a model who wore her insulin pump on stage. And this made me happy. And because of that fact, I want to write about it.
The story is about 20 year old Idaho Beauty Queen, Sierra Sandison. She attracted even more attention because she chose to wear her insulin pump whilst modelling in her bikini on stage. Now, this has made me sooo happy, you don't even understand.
First of all, I've never been embarrassed of my pump. It took me 8 miserable years of injecting 4-8 times a day to finally get mine, so I'm proud to wear it. It's sort of a reminder to me of my long fought battle that I won in the end. But I do understand why some people don't want it on show. Some look at it as a constant reminder of their condition and some just don't want people to know about their diabetes. Which is fine. I've just never had that problem. But then again, I'm a person who's life is pretty much an open book and I understand not everyone is like that.
Anyway, Sierra was diagnosed when she was 18, so she's a diabetes newbie, if you like. But she decided that she would wear her pump. Because, why hide it? If you want to read the story, it can be found here. << See? I made it easy for you ;)
To be honest though, my take on the whole situation is this: what is the point in hiding the pump? You'll end up stressing yourself out by trying to hide it all the time. Beach trips will be a nightmare and you're essentially being ashamed of something that you've no reason to be ashamed of.
I understand how difficult life with Type 1 Diabetes can be though. I've had a lot of stick in the past because people think they know all about it. I used to be in hospital a lot before I got my insulin pump because I kept getting ketones and going into DKA (Diabetic Ketoacidosis) which is basically the #1 killer in Type 1 Diabetics. Ketones is basically acid in your blood that starts to eat away at your body fat. Or something like that. But I had people making the old snide comments like:
The story is about 20 year old Idaho Beauty Queen, Sierra Sandison. She attracted even more attention because she chose to wear her insulin pump whilst modelling in her bikini on stage. Now, this has made me sooo happy, you don't even understand.
First of all, I've never been embarrassed of my pump. It took me 8 miserable years of injecting 4-8 times a day to finally get mine, so I'm proud to wear it. It's sort of a reminder to me of my long fought battle that I won in the end. But I do understand why some people don't want it on show. Some look at it as a constant reminder of their condition and some just don't want people to know about their diabetes. Which is fine. I've just never had that problem. But then again, I'm a person who's life is pretty much an open book and I understand not everyone is like that.
Anyway, Sierra was diagnosed when she was 18, so she's a diabetes newbie, if you like. But she decided that she would wear her pump. Because, why hide it? If you want to read the story, it can be found here. << See? I made it easy for you ;)
To be honest though, my take on the whole situation is this: what is the point in hiding the pump? You'll end up stressing yourself out by trying to hide it all the time. Beach trips will be a nightmare and you're essentially being ashamed of something that you've no reason to be ashamed of.
I understand how difficult life with Type 1 Diabetes can be though. I've had a lot of stick in the past because people think they know all about it. I used to be in hospital a lot before I got my insulin pump because I kept getting ketones and going into DKA (Diabetic Ketoacidosis) which is basically the #1 killer in Type 1 Diabetics. Ketones is basically acid in your blood that starts to eat away at your body fat. Or something like that. But I had people making the old snide comments like:
"Oooh well she does eat a lot of sweet stuff"
"Oh well she's never refused a biscuit when I've offered one to her"
"Ohhh well if she watched what she ate, maybe she wouldn't be in hospital so much"
"Oh well obviously it's because she eats absolute rubbish. I mean I saw her scoff a KFC the other day and that's why she keeps ending up in hospital"
Yeah, trust me, I've had it all. I've also had the common "helpful/curious suggestions/questions":
"Ooooh should you be eating that?"
"Well I don't have anything sugar free, will you be ok with this? It's got lots of sugar in it"
"Right, well, I would give you the box of chocolates but on second thought, I don't want you binging and ending up in hospital so here, have this small pack instead"
See? All this has got one thing in common. They all say "oh" a lot. Hehe just kidding. No but seriously, it's obvious: they're all diet related. See, because type 2 diabetes is so prevalent nowadays, people think that that's it. Type 1 and Type 2 are the same. But they're not. In fact, the only thing they have in common is that they're to do with insulin production. In fact they're so different that I strongly think that Type 1 Diabetes should be called something else and therefore putting a stop to stereotypes.
I didn't get Type 1 Diabetes because I ate too many sweets, contrary to popular belief. I got it because my pancreas stopped producing insulin. The route cause of this is unknown but it could be down to genetics or a virus that I had when I was younger that messed my body up internally. I'll never be sure. But the fact of the matter remains; Type 1 Diabetes is nothing nothing nothing to do with diet.
The thing with type 2 is you have to watch what you eat. With type 1 you learn to count your carbs. This is so that you can count the carbohydrates that you eat and therefore give yourself enough insulin to break it down properly. This then maintains your blood sugar levels, provided you get your carb-to-insulin ratios right. This means that I can have a whole tub of ice cream if I wanted; provided I give myself enough insulin, my blood sugars will stay stable. (I've tried this and it worked). But obviously, just like a person without diabetes, you wouldn't do this all the time because it's unhealthy for anyone.
So to all you people who offer "friendly advice" such as questioning a Type 1 Diabetics choice of food, think first. Because there is honestly nothing more annoying. And it makes us want to punch you in the face whilst scoffing a bucket of KFC and washing it down with a McFlurry after (Ooooh KFC AND Maccy Dees in one sentence! How controversial!). Literally, nothing provokes me more.
This chica is nearly 48, diabetic and mum of 2! |
Also, one last thing. Sierra Sandison should be an inspiration to all Type 1 Diabetics out there, because she definitely is to me. Don't use Type 1 Diabetes as an excuse for not being able to lose weight because it genuinely isn't a valid one. This disease shouldn't stop you from doing anything, because it's not like Type 2 Diabetes. You can have that killer body that you want because it won't stop you from achieving it. Only you can stop that. Through a steady healthy eating regime and light exercise, I've found myself having to shrink my jeans in the dryer just so that they fit! (That skint life tho... xD).
And just ponder this fact for a second: The gorgeous being that is Halle Berry, is also Type 1 Diabetic. And she has a body that literally makes you die a little inside. So you cannot tell me that it's impossible to lose weight with Type 1 Diabetes. If you're on insulin, you can go on a low carb diet! I have and it's been amazing! Obviously, your body is your sculpture and your diabetes is your art to get right. So what works for me won't necessarily work for you. Consult your doc before making big changes. But don't ever use Type 1 Diabetes as an excuse.
So, be free and do what you want. Type 1 Diabetes is not a something to tie you down. It's just something we've been pinned with until they find a cure. Eat that ice cream, give your insulin and Z Snap anyone that asks you if you should be eating that.
So today I'm gonna be talking about George Ezra. Look at his little face! This guy is honestly so amazing. I love his voice so much. It's so deep and powerful without going all "soul ballad-y". My favorite song by him is Blame It On Me. It's so beautiful and earthy. But obviously, he came to my attention for his song called Budapest.
I have one issue though Georgey.
It's just these lyrics:
The Music Corner
So seeing as I always seem to mention music in my posts, I've decided to do "The Music Corner". This new addition is going to be where I feature my favourite songs at the moment and skip to the good bit (Oh HELLO Rizzle Kicks reference!).So today I'm gonna be talking about George Ezra. Look at his little face! This guy is honestly so amazing. I love his voice so much. It's so deep and powerful without going all "soul ballad-y". My favorite song by him is Blame It On Me. It's so beautiful and earthy. But obviously, he came to my attention for his song called Budapest.
I have one issue though Georgey.
It's just these lyrics:
My friends and family
They don't understand
They fear they'd lose so much
If you take my hand
But for you
They don't understand
They fear they'd lose so much
If you take my hand
But for you
I'd lose it all
Well George maybe that's the problem. Your family probably don't know this girl. And they know that if you went with her BAM! You'd leave them. That's what they don't understand. How could you leave them for some chick? Tell us that George.
But other than that, it's a fab song. So check it out. I'd also recommend checking out his performance at Glastonbury because it was goosebumpily glorious (ooooh alliteration! How exciting!).
So anyway, that's all I have to say now! Hope you're enjoying the sun as much as I am!
Keep smiling, folks!
Ditzy xXx
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Labels:
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Thursday 26 June 2014
The World Cup Through My Eyes ( A Chick Who Thinks She Knows It All ;) )
I wasn't going to write
about the World Cup until after it was all over but let's face it, so much has
happened so far, I feel this needs to be the first part of a two part series! I
don't really think I know it all, but I do have some quite strong opinions on a
few things. So let me stop beating around the bush and just get on with it.
The World Cup
2014 Song
Heard it yet? Wow. That
is all I have to say. What a monstrosity of gargantuan proportions!!!
Just no!! In my opinion, Pitbull should be put on an island full of skinny
girls, no standards and flags of Cuba everywhere, because, ya know, he seems to
want to remind us and himself of the fact that he is Cuban. In every single
song. Also, I like JLo. Who doesn't? But really? You guys could've done wayyyy
better than that. It's like they recorded it in ten minutes in between flights
or something, listened to it and thought, "no this needs to be more
Brazilian", grabbed a random Brazilian off the street, got her to talk a
bit and then just sneaked it into the song. It's messy and just outright
shocking. Where's will.i.am when you need him, eh?
England
So... yeah... we didn't
do so great did we? To be honest, I think individuals did well, like Sterling,
Sturridge (hehe, spell check wants to change that to Porridge xD), Cahill and
Lallana. But then we come to the likes of Gerrard and Rooney. But I've reserved
them a paragraph each so I'm not gonna go on about them here. Personally, I
think some of our players are just there for the sake of their name and not
actually for their skill. I think some of them are past their prime and it's
time to move on, however harsh that sounds.
Also, as amazing as our younger players played (they really did do well), I personally think it was early days for them. The World Cup is massive and it must be an intimidating prospect to play in. So I think they themselves need to be focused on loads and trained up amazingly over the next few years, ready for the Euro 2016 and the next World Cup (in Qatar of all places?? I mean, really?). For this reason then, I think some of our older players need to step down now and give the other lads the limelight.
Gerrard
I like Gerrard. I really
do. I like his face and his accent. And he seems like an alright guy. I do
however, think he needs to think about his career seriously now. There's
just been too many slip ups (quite literally) when I've seen him play. He's
been making a lot of mistakes and to be honest, it was like watching the Prem
all over again. Personally, I think he's let everything get to him and he's
just struggling. It's like he's scared of the ball now and I hate seeing that.
So I don't know, maybe it's time to take your break now Stevie? But whatevs. If
you stay, I will still delight in watching that beautiful face =')
Rooney
Ohhhh where oh where do I
start?! Don't worry, this isn't going to be a massive rant/hate binge on the
guy. I don't hate him at all. Dislike? Hmmm... we'll go with "dislike
intensely". I intensely dislike Rooney and I shall tell you why. At first,
I refused to dislike him because I thought everyone was just hating on him for
the sake of hating. Then I saw him play. My views quickly changed.
*I've started a new
paragraph. This is where the SRANT begins (that's code for Semi-Rant)* Rooney,
Rooney, Rooney. What are you doing??????? Honestly, he runs like he can't
be bothered, he looks like he can't bothered and he plays like he can't be
bothered. He's just a big lump of non-botheredness. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure
he was great back in the day (I wouldn't know, I wasn't into footy then) but
what I've seen now, nah, it's not there anymore. There's no spark and it's like
he's just playing to pay for his house. Which I'm sure is already paid for.
That's it now though. He's made his millions, paid for that shocking hair
transplant (that has done him no favours) and so he's done. And to be honest,
if you've had to undergo a hair transplant, I'm pretty sure it's a great big
massive sign that it's over.
Also, while we're on the
subject, how on earth did he get Coleen? I mean really? I'm just
kidding. I'm sure Wayne has a heart under that false pretense of football
expertise he professes to have.
Suarez
So I've left the best
until last, kind of how you leave that last bit of steak 'til the end of your
meal, after you've cleared your chips and veg (what I like to call, the
unessentials). Oooh how apt!
So Suarez has made headlines yet again for his cannibalistic
ways. Now, I think we’d better just put all of this in context. On the 19th
July, we were hailing him as one of the best players known to man, after those two
beautiful goals he scored during the England vs Uruguay game. Okay, so we all hated
him for scoring against us, but ya know, we’ll skip over that. In fact I wrote
a status the next morning saying how important it was for Liverpool fans to
appreciate what an absolute quality player they have in Suarez.
Skip 5 days (five days!) later to the Uruguay vs Italy
match on the 24th July, and BAM! Different story. So I didn’t watch
the match because I was too focused on the Costa Rica vs England game. But
apparently, Suarez got frustrated and allegedly bit Giorgio Chiellini. Well, it’s
not allegedly. It’s blatantly there in black and white. No it’s in colour but its
actual video footage and photographic evidence.
My take on it is this: Suarez felt like he’d lost
control of the situation and therefore decided to take a chunk out of
Chiellini. Chiellini gets startled by the unprovoked attack, elbows Suarez in
the face (like a reflex), Suarez realises what he’s done, throws his hands in
the air for a second (“aaah what have I done!?”), leaps to the floor and holds
his teeth, like they're the victims in this situation. It’s only when he’s on
the floor, gripping his teeth ‘til kingdom come, that he realises what an awful
situation he’s in. I can only imagine the thoughts going through his mind.
“Oh my word!! How stupid! That’s it. This is the end
of my career”
“This is the third time”
“Just keep holding your teeth Louis. Don’t let go of
the teeth. If you let go of your teeth, you’re letting go of football forever.
Just hold on or we’re going home”
“I should have had that burrito before the game!”
So he must’ve been devastated at what he’d done.
There’s no doubt. I mean I honestly think he just didn’t know what to do and
just lost control. That doesn’t make it any better but that’s just my take on
it. What annoyed me though was the fact he tried to deny it. Then he was saying
that he was elbowed in the face. Erm, yeah, after you took a chunk out of the
guy. Just apologise, accept the consequences and move on. But don’t deny it! I
mean I’m hungry all the time Lou, but I don’t go around taking chunks out of
random people, no matter how fine they are. Can you imagine if all hormonal, menstrual
girls did a Suarez? That’s the apocalypse you guys need to worry about.
So the internet had a field day and social media
blew up, with Suarez still trending on Twitter today, two days later. Some of
the memes that were made were honestly hilarious. So in honour (that’s not
the right term but you know what I mean) of the three times Suarez turned into Hannibal,
I’ve decided to share my top three memes with you. And I also made one myself
so I’ll add that too.
***Oh
and also, as the results go, Suarez has been banned from 9 matches,
participating in any football related activities for the next 4 months
(therefore ruling out any further participation in the World Cup 2014) and he’s
been fined £65,000. Too right, I say. But honestly, Suarez clearly needs helps
and I honestly hope he gets all the help he needs. Because he’s an amazing
player. You simply cannot deny he has unbeatable skill. So sort your head out
Lou and then maybe you can come back a newly reformed man =)***
Conclusion & Predictions
So it’s been an absolute disappointingly excruciating
time for England, with no pride intact whatsoever, losing all three games. But
really and truly, how did we expect them to beat Costa Rica when, about a month
ago, Rooney probably thought it was just another coffee shop. (This joke is
blatantly stolen off Hugh Dennis on Mock The Week who said something similar.
It’s also a bit irrelevant seeing as he didn’t actually play in the Costa Rica
game, but meh, I like it so I’m keeping it). But I do still have hopes for the
Euro and the next World Cup, provided we focus on our young talent and train them
up properly.
Oh yeah and has anyone heard that song that was on a World
Cup advert (I think it was for Dre Beats or something? It’s called Jungle by Jamie N Commons
and X Ambassadors ft Jay Z? Anyway, it’s such a fab song! It’s so motivational
and would be absolutely perf for a run, walk or workout! But will someone
please tell ol’ Jay that you can’t drink out of the actual World Cup trophy. It’s
not hollow bruh =S
Predictions. . . Well I said from the beginning that
I reckon Brazil will win. (Can we just appreciate Neymar for a second please? He's iinvincible! And I love his hair!!! That blonde is epic! And quite frankly, he is
b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l). BUT, after seeing Algeria and how amazingly they played, I
dunno, I think they have something.
So, may the next 17 days be filled with cheers, anger,
laughter, absolute brutal banter, booze and just absolute joy all in all. Enjoy
the rest of the Cup, may the best team win and I will do my next World Cup post
on Monday 14th July. Enjoy peeps!
Keep smiling, folks!
Ditzy xXx
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