The Snob Speech

                        “Hiya! Erm… just to let you know, I’m not a snob. I’m just really shy, that’s why I’m not talking to ya. Savour this though, because once you get to know me you can’t shut me up. (Cue massive smile)”

This, my friends, is my Snob Speech. This is what I say to people I don’t really know very well. You see, reading my blogs, you might not have realized that I am quite a shy person when I first meet new people. I literally go mute, no words come out. Unfortunately, this leads to awkward silences, shifty looks, and just generally …. moments of awkwardness. I don’t quite know why I’m like this but that’s just how I am. It’s just a case of like it or lump it, I suppose. 

Now, I don’t want people to think that I’m a snob. This is why I give the Snob Speech. It’s gone pretty well, and is actually quite an icebreaker. So there you go guys, if you ever find yourself in similar shoes to mine, invent your own Snob Speech!

Once people get to know me, they realize what a lunatic I actually am. I literally do not shut up at times. I’ll go on and on about complete, utter rubbish, and then forget what I’m talking about half way through. Now, I’m only in my late teens so goodness knows how I’m gonna turn out when I’m in my eighties! I also get excited about things. Sometimes, I don’t know why I’m excited… I just am. I’ll be going up to my friends, adrenaline rushing through me, and they just don’t understand (imagine the whole “I’m so excited! Are you excited because I’m sooooo excited!!” “What are you excited about??” “I don’t know but I’m just sooooooo excited!!! Talk =S).

So, the Snob Speech has gone down a treat, just so you know. I am well aware that this post is a pretty pointless post, but I thought I’d share my pointless thoughts with you! 

Oh, and just one last thing. I was talking to a friend today. He had gone to a wedding the day before (yesterday) and I asked him how it was. NOTE: My friend is a GUY. This is how the convo went…

Me:  So, how’d the wedding go?

Friend: Yeah, it was alright I suppose.

Me: How did the bride look??

Friend: Just like she normally looks. I suppose it’s up to her husband to judge though isn't it.

Me: What was her dress like??

Friend: White.

Me: Is that all you have to say? =S

Friend: Well, I didn't really pay much attention to her dress to be honest.

Me: Well, normally, girls mainly focus on what the dress is like. So what do guys normally focus on?

Friend: The bridesmaids.

That was how the conversation went. Now, there is nothing wrong with this. It was just the fact that my friend didn't have even a hint of a smirk on his face. He was deadly serious. I could not stop laughing! Made my day, so I thought I’d share that (rather pointless) conversation with you too!

Keep eating, folks!

Ditzy xXx

Forbidden Words at the Gym...=S

For those that know me, it will be a tremendous shock to you that I, Ditzy Polka Dot, who loves food more than people, have joined a Gym. Yes, the place with scary machines that put a fear and nervousness in you that you didn't realize you would EVER experience. The place in which people go to lose weight and tone up, even though the only ones I have seen so far are so toned and slim, you wonder why they are even there! Yes, ok, so they want to stay the wonderful shape they are, but it is kind of.....soul destroying, to put it lightly. But hey, I take consolation in the fact that they may have been slightly on the larger side before they got where they are today...perhaps....maybe....hopefully =S.

So anyway, the first time I went was as a free guest with a friend, to try out the facilities. That was interesting. It was like the blind leading the blind. But we had a great time, even if we did make certain people feel slightly nauseous with our poor attempt at stretching. So I had finished all my water 10 minutes into our "exercising" that I had to refill my bottle. I then get this unexplainable craving for KFC. So i announce to my friend, rather loudly, that I "fancy a KFC". Well, let me tell you, THAT was a mistake of gargantuan proportions! A girl passing me (the size of a twig, might I add) gave me the dirtiest look I have ever seen! I then realize where I am and regret my choice of timing and food choice. I also realize that the mention of any takeaway foods is simply forbidden in the gym... be it KFC, Burger King, McDonalds, or Pizza Hut.

So after a tough workout at the gym, I announce rather loudly that I fancy a poached egg with spinach, wild rocket, avocado, watercress, and other leafy green rabbit food for dinner when I get home. I also look out for the girl that passed me to give her a smug look implying " I may be slightly large, but I can also eat like a rabbit, just like you love". But I can't see her, much to my dismay. So with that, I leave the gym with my head held high, and my stomach sucked in and have my dinner...


It isn't quite the salad....its a 3 piece variety meal from KFC.....but don't worry, I had coleslaw!

Ditzy Polka Dot xXx