Weird Words & Nostalgic Nougat

Hey guys how are you? So I have 23 minutes to types out this post... And  I have false nails on (gel tips if you're beauty inclined. I'm not. I still get nervous when people ask me about them because I'm worried I'll say it wrong. The long tips aren't mine the the under-nail is and I don't want to answer your nail related questions because I don't know enough about beauty so goodbye). But I decided to get Mario Related nails so I got Toad, the mushroom head, painted on and I love them! What do you think? They match my hella old phone case perfectly!

My phone case and my nails. Yeah... I really love all things N64 lol.

The only thing is, being diabetic, I have to do blood tests a lot. But everytime I do, it looks like I'm shooting Toad in the head. The fact that blood then splurges out doesn't help =/ Oooh but isn't 'splurge' such a fab word?!

I know, I really should have them removed now...

So, apologies for not writing sooner but I have been mega busy with work, coursework and other stuff. But I've been thinking a lot about words recently. I mean, my job involves a lot of written work that can't be copied, so everything I write for my job has to be completely original. So I figured I'd have to take on Eminem's sort of early days tactics and read a dictionary every night to learn new words and incorporate them into my writing at work. I've been in this job since February and I haven't picked up a dictionary, nor have I opened the dictionary app I got specially for starting this job. Great start, right?

But anyway, recently it came to my attention that my imagination plays a huge part in my idea of wordplay. You see, certain words reminds me of the weirdest things. I'm sure your mind does this too, so if it does, let me know in the comments below! (Oooh that rhymes!)

But here are some examples of the sort of thing I mean:

Glorious: If you've read my previous blogs, you'll know what I'm talking about but for you new readers (welcome!) here's the thought the word 'glorious' outs in my head. This is taken from my Septmeber 2013 post called 'Gloriouosness + Rainbows + Jelly +Sunshine = A Gloriously Happy Mix!'

"'Glorious' is now my new favourite word at the moment. It's just so. . . glorious, isn't it? And it's also so terribly pretentious. Sort of like, "Yes, I am glorious. I am the epitome of glorious. And I know it. And I shall emanate gloriousness to everyone, everywhere. And I am also made of strawberry jelly. Which is also glorious. Because I am glorious.""

Chuffed: I don't use this word a lot but I've heard people say it. I do love it though because it reminds me of Cheerios (the breakfast cereal) wearing little furry jackets, happily jumping into a massive bowl of milk (and, unbeknownst to them, their death. But they're totally unaware of their impending milk macerated demise...)

Touché: I love this word! Like really love this word. It reminds me of a mix between the Monopoly Man and Poirot, tipping his hat whilst tweaking his mustache.

Poirot and Monopoly Dude. I suppose they're pretty similar really.

Chickweed: I discovered this word a while ago when I was texting someone. I was going to call them chicken but somehow auto-correct changed it to 'chickweed'. I liked it so I sent it anyway and now it's become a pet name for most of my close friends. But this reminds me of a little chick wrapped in weeds and nesting material to keep warm whilst eating my mums chickpea curry. Well, it's better than the alternative of a chick smoking a joint now isn't it? ;) Remember, pugs not drugs people!

Here is the imperfectly perf Russell Howard wearing a Pugs not Drugs tee... because he's perf

Serial Killer: A tad morbid but when I heard this phrase for the first time, I was about 5 and I remember thinking it was someone who used had such an aversion to the breakfast option that they used to go round various supermarkets putting a knife through boxes of cereal.

Nostalgic: Nostalgic or Nostalgia reminds me of pink and white nougat dipped in liquid gold. I don't quite know why but meh. But isn't there something glorious about the word? Also how do you say 'nougat'? Noo-gaah or nugget?

Anyway, this now brings me to the 'Nostalgic Nougat' bit of this post. I was just thinking about my grandma and grandad and how loved up they were. I mean, we're talking about a man and woman born in the 1920's who are both Indian through and through. And yet, they loved each other so much. For example, I remember being told that my grandad used to put fresh flowers in my grandmas hair every morning when they lived in India. He loved her so much and he wasn't afraid to show it, which was different for that generation. My grandad, he remember small details about their wedding day and the first day he met my grandma. I won't go into it all, but they really, honestly loved each other so very much and they weren't ruled by a stiff upper lip. That's something that I want.

So anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this post. Sorry again for all the delays and stuff but I'm trying to balance everything at the moment. Ohhh and last last thing, Jhené Aiko posted such an amazing quote on instagram the other day:

It's scary how accurately this describes me. I don't love to get anything back. I love for the sake of loving. Love is basically my life. People come and go, they heal and they hurt, they encourage and they break down, but my love. It lasts forever. It is always there.

Keep smiling folks!

Ditzy xXx

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Joel Compass, Lana Del Rey (...eek!..), The Vamps (...grrr...), Peanut Butter Doughnuts & Why I'm Bad At Meeting New People...

Hello you glorious Fluffernutters! How are you all on this bright and thankfully not so breezy Tuesday afternoon? So this is obviously another Lunchtime Post and if you're interested, I'm currently eating a ham and cucumber sarnie made by me. And Weight Watchers bread that cost me 19p because it was reduced at Sainsbury's  =) Aaaah I do love a bargain! But that might just be down to my Indian routes... also, just for the record, can we say that that's why I'm always late for everything? Indian Timing and all that?

Anyway, first of all, let's talk Music! I'm aware that I nearly always quote at least one song in practically every post I do but I've been becoming very musical lately. I've always liked music but I never used to understand people's connection with it. I used to be into dance when I was younger but I think I was too young to understand. And then I kinda got out of listening to music. Then I hit my late teen years and subconsciously felt the need to fit the "MMMOP" teen stereotype: Moody, Mood-Swinging, Music-Obsessed Procrastinator. (MMMOP kinda sounds like Hansen's MMM Bop song doesn't it? Aaaah and to think me and my good friend were watching the music video once, trying to work out what gender each one was... only to find out they were all dudes. Memories!)

So anyway, I went through that stage. I think I went through a lot in my life too and that made me feel like every song related to me. It's mad though isn't it? How a million different songs can describe your million different feelings and thoughts more accurately than you can explain them yourself. So now, I love music and I can't last a day without it. Joining a band has also helped. But we won't discuss that any further.

Sooooo current song that I'm obsessed with at the moment is 'Forgive Me' by Joel Compass. Oh. My. Word. SUCH a good song. And it's great for sort of helping you on your way to forgetting someone that you need to forget. Kinda part of the 'erasing' process. And it's a fab song to belt out too ;) Some of the lyrics that so fabulously encapsulate the feisty feeling you have when you're finally getting your life back after heartbreak include:

Forgive me while I forget you  
Cause I don't need your love
I don't need your love
You might think I do
But I don't need your love, yeah 
  It's like yeahh-yeahhh
You let me down
You turned me in
And you lie and despise
I don't need you baby
I don't need you baby 

I have two words: Gwaaaaaarn Joely!!!!! Love this tune so much. Oh and, *ahem* Joel Compass = Hyperventilatingly B-E-A-U-T-F-U-L! (Yes I made up the word 'hyperventilatingly'. It works. Let's roll.) So yeah, he's very much followed on Instagram... 

Erm, Lana Del Rey... yeah. I always had an issue with Lana. Well, I never hated on her or anything (I don't hate, I appreciate) but she did make me want to kill myself with her dreary and depressing tones. So, ya know, being the life loving chick that I am, I decided to refrain from listening to her songs, just as a preventative measure to stop me from planning my own death. But Radio 1 played her new song West Coast and, ugh! I think I like it a bit. Kill me. No actually don't. Just buy me Lana's album and I'll probably beat you to it. 

Lastly on the music front: The Vamps. If you know me, you know that I have a slight scornful feeling towards them. But again, Radio 1 had them in the Live Lounge and BAM! I found myself singing their song... You know the one I mean... "Wake up in the morning with the sunlight in my eyes... la la la la la la la... do do do do do do do..." You'll have that in your head now. You're welcome ;)

Okay so their tunes are catchy. But I have a few issues with their lyrics. First of all, their song Can We Dance: 

I've been a bad, bad boy
Whispering rude things in her ear,

Please say she'll break,
Please say she'll change
Her mind and bring me back to her place.

No. What are you, 12? The only things you should be whispering in her ear is answers to maths tests.

Then comes their next song, Last Night:

Wake up in the morning
With the sunlight in my eyes,
No, my head don't feel so bright,
What the hell happened last night?
Yeah last night think we were dancing,
Singing all our favorite songs.
Think I might have kissed someone.
And if tomorrow never comes
We had last night.
 

Lads, lads, lads! Kissing people who you don't know is not the way forward. Think about the current situation in England with all these sick bugs going round. Do you really want to be a key part in the spread of it? Do you? Didn't think so. The only thing you should be puckering up to is a Pukka Pie.

But as much as I protest, you can't help but sing their songs. Which means they've got to be good. Catchy tunes mean sales! And sales mean you'll be big! So I wish them all the best, really. And I sincerely hope I'm not bludgeoned to death in my sleep by one of the members of their HUGE fan base. Don't be cray girls. Be nice.

Ok finally finally finally is the whole Peanut Butter Doughnuts thing and meeting new people. Basically, I was talking to someone I don't know very well and I felt I should follow my standard procure by telling them that I'm weird. A little forewarning. So I sent this:

"I'm a weird person so it's probs best to just accept it and roll with it... kinda like a peanut butter doughnut. It seems weird but you'll roll with it... Unless of course you're allergic to peanuts, in which case, this whole metaphorical analogy has just gone to waste... For the record, I've never had or heard of a peanut butter doughnut either, it just popped into my head but I think imma try and make one one day because it seems like wayyyy too good a thing to just ignore."

I lied. I wouldn't just make one. I'd make a whole heap. But anyway, this whole thing just splurged out of my brain, into my phone and I sent it then read it back to myself and realized, I need help. But hey, we embrace weirdness here in Ditzy Land, right?And imma definitely try and make them doughnuts. Though I've never made doughnuts before. But how hard can it be? Just sweet dough that's deep fried right? See that right there? That attitude is why I'm a hazard in the kitchen.

So anyway guys, my lunch break is nearly over. Hope you're all good and thanks so much for reading!

Keep smiling folks! And keep that weirdness circulating!

Ditzy xXx

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Perfume: Stilton or Pepper, Sir/Madam?

I'm going to be honest my fellow blog-reading-cupcakes, I have no idea what to write about. I have neglected this blog for so long and literally have had no inspiration over the past few months. Literally the only thing that has popped into my mind is to tell you about my new perfume. . . So I will. Please, do not die of boredom. But be prepared. This is not going to be one of my better blogs. You might need a cuppa coffee to keep you awake for this one.

Anyway, I am going to tell you about a perfume I bought. I have been wanting to buy a really unique perfume for some time. I don't fancy smelling like everyone else. I wanted something unique and captivating (do you like my big choice of words there?). I wanted something that made peoples heads (or noses) turn.

Now, when Google-ing this, I came across something rather interesting. Celebs nowadays are trying out a new type of scent. Prepare yourselves. . . celebs are going for something called Eu De Stilton. Yes. . . Stilton. And, Yes. .  .the scent is cheese. Now, you may be in a state of shock so, being the kind person that I am, I will do the maths for you.

Eu De Stilton + Man/Woman = Man/Woman Stinking Of Cheese.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong but, if your trying to impress someone, be it your friends, family, or partner, surely cheese is not the road you want to go down. I mean, it's not even the humble MILD CHEDDAR. We're talking about something that, quite frankly, smells of sweaty feet! Why spend ridiculous amounts of money on the perfume? My not just stick a piece of actual Stilton down your top and be done with it? JUST IMAGINE public transport if this perfume was a 'success'. I mean, they already smell questionable now. A Monday morning bus/train/tube usually has the concoction of stale vomit, urine, and sometimes, oddly enough, banana's. I don't quite know where the banana scent comes from. But it's there, lurking in the corners. A relief from the other smells, but mixed up is just lethal.

Anyway, I obviously didn't want to go down the Stilton route any time soon. So I found a perfume that fitted my requirements perfectly. This perfume was a head turner. I read literally hundreds of reviews and most of them said how amazing this perfume smelled. Apparently, it is one chemical that works with your own pheromones to create a unique 'you' smell. As I said, about 99.9% of the reviews said how amazing it was and that every time they wore it, they would get complimented on it. So I thought I'd splash out and go for it. Surely, I thought, I wouldn't be like the remaining 0.1% who claimed they couldn't smell anything. So I ordered it.

The day of the arrival of my perfume came and . . . I missed the delivery. So I went to the post office to retrieve it. (Bare in mind, I rang the post office to see if I could come 15 minutes after the closing time because I wouldn't be able to get there beforehand. The gentleman was so kind that he said he would be there to give me my package). So I got there, only to find out that my parcel wasn't in fact at the Post Office but the Postman still had it. SO my friend and I drove around looking for the Postman, to no avail. (Yes, people did get slightly freaked out when we ran up to them asking if they'd seen the postman. And No, certain people in red tops didn't appreciate it when we ran towards them with a face full of hope, only to frown at them and walk away defeated, realising they weren't who we were looking for).

Anyway, I had to wait until the next day to receive my package. FINALLY I got my hands on it. I applied it straight away. Now, the reviews said I would get a smell resembling alcohol rub at first. Then I wouldn't be able to smell anything for a while. Then it would hit me after about 20 minutes.

So, on application it smelled like pepper. Okay, I thought, maybe that's some people's interpretation of alcohol rub. I then waited 20 minutes. I smelled. It smelled of pepper. So I waited a further 20 minutes. It smelled like pepper. Yes, my pheromones obviously smell of pepper. To say I wasn't too thrilled is an understatement. I was devastated. But I have had 3 compliments. But it stops smelling after a few hours. So, if you ever are on public transport, or just walking down a street and you smell pepper, it will be coming from me. Or a pepper factory. Whichever is closest to you at the time.

So, that's my perfume adventures over. Yes, a big disappointment it was. But I shall not be swayed. I will find a perfume. One day, I will find The One!

So, as I said, this is probably one of my worst posts yet. But hang in there, I will be on top form soon!!

Keep Smeating Folks! (Smeating is my new word. .  .Smiling and Eating. It's surprisingly difficult to do both at the same time).

Ditzy Polka Dot xXx