Reggae, Dancehall, Calories, Kebabs & Why Dieters Annoy Me

What's gwaaarning famalam?

Excuse the unorthodox greeting but I'm feeling pretty alternative/excited/happy/chilled right now. That might be down to the fact that I have my Reggae & Dancehall playlist blasting through my ears at work right now. And Vybz Kartel is playing right now. It's weird how you can feel so chill and yet dance-y at the same time. Reggae definitely hits new levels that's for sure. Oh my word, how annoying is it that Vybz is jailed for life?! Don't get me wrong, I completely support the decision as I believe criminals should be behind bars and not walking the streets. But what an idiot?! Because let's be honest, you lock up Vybz, you lock up dancehall. But anyway, I'm sure that the current artists will step up and keep it all going.

Oooooh have you guys heard that thing in the news about kebabs? Apparently people are concerned about what meat they're getting at takeaways, with kebab houses being the main concern. Right, I'm sorry but..... say what? Everyone knows that if you buy a donner kebab, you could well be eating the intestines of a goat, the tongue of an Ox, the feet of several cows and a horses hoof just for good measure. I mean you don't exactly buy a kebab for quality lamb now do you? So stop bloomin' complaining and just eat. Or give up eating kebabs. But if you did that, you'd have a kebab shaped whole in your heart. For the rest of your life. So I would advise against it. Just live in a state of oblivion like me and you'll be alright ;)

Also, for those complaining about donner kebabs containing other meats which is detrimental to certain religions (eg. Sikhs can't eat beef and Muslims can't eat pork), well okay fine. That's understandable. But what I don't understand is those who go for nights out drinking, then go for a kebab after, and then complain about the kebab containing meat that they can't eat. I mean I'm sorry but, what? So you've been out getting absolutely gazebo'd (which is probably against your religion) and then you complain about unintentionally eating meat that you're not allowed to eat? Don't make me laugh bruv! And you all know who you are ;)

Okay so since we're on the subject of kebabs, let's talk the latter subjects of the title of this post. Calories and why dieters annoy me!

So yeah, I'm trying to lose weight by going for walks. I've been for three 3 mile walks this week and I'm really rather proud of myself. I'm already seeing a difference in my weight. I'm also doing a 30 day Squats challenge, a 30 day abs challenge, a 30 day planking challenge and a 30 day arms challenge... All in one month. Yeah, I don't do things by halves! But they're only little exercises that take me about 15 minutes a day which isn't so bad. But I'm trying to overall eat healthier but I had a Maccy Dees yesterday after my walk so, I still allow myself treats ;) Because what is life without treats?! So dieters in general don't annoy me. But annoying dieters do.

Picture the scenario:

Annoying Dieter: "Oooh I really fancy a Twix. Oooh no I shouldn't. Oooh should I? Because I do deserve it after being so good. But ooooh a minute on the lips is a lifetime on the hips. Oooh Ditzy, what do you think?"

Me: "I think you should do what makes you happy."

Annoying Dieter: "Well a Twix would really make me happy. Right! That's it, I've decided! I'm gonna get myself a Twix. Ooooh, naughty! But yeah, I'm going to do it!"

Me: *bites into 3rd doughnut*

****some time after consumption of Twix has taken place****

Annoying Dieter: "I SO should NOT have had that Twix. Oh I feel terrible. Oh I regret eating that bar of poison. Oh what have I done! Look you can already see my stomach is bigger! Look!"

Me: *bites into 8th doughnut while looking at stomach in a confused state*

Annoying Dieter: "Oh what am I gonna do! Oh I failed. I fail at life. I fail at diets. I'm such a loser! But obviously not a loser of weight. It's about the only thing I don't lose. Oh life! Must you be so cruel?! That's it. I need a gastric band! I don't care about the risks. Book me one! I'm booking it now. I will book one right this minute. Oh that stupid Twix! Never will I ever eat a Twix in my whole entire life!!!!"

Me: *punches Annoying Dieter in face and then bites into 9th doughnut*.


See what I mean? It's these annoying dieters that give dieters a bad name. I mean, if you're gonna treat yourself, let it be just that: A treat. Enjoy it. Savour it. And then move on! And why call treats "naughty"? I mean, think of the feelings! How would you like to be labelled "naughty" all the time? Don't discriminate, people. Appreciate.

And while we're on the subject, who on earth came up with that ridiculous saying:

"I minute on the lips is a lifetime on the hips"

No. Calories need homes too! Just eat the darn Twix and then get on with yo lives! 

*breathe*... Evidently I have strong opinions on the matter. But you all know what I mean right? But if anyone is dieting or just trying to have a healthier lifestyle, I wish you all the best! Seriously.

So guys, I hope you've enjoyed this post. The SECOND of the week. Oh I do spoil you ;) Though truth be told, it's the least I could do after not posting for so long before. Thanks for reading and have a fantabulous Bank Holiday weekend. Thursday this week is essentially Friday people! Now sing Rebecca Black's Friday song today. Yes! On a Thursday. Because we are fearless rule breakers! ;)

Keep smiling folks!

Ditzy xXx

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What Makes Us Happy: With a Little Help from Instagrammers, Pharrell, Akon, Ashanti, Frank Sinatra, Collie Buddz & NeverShoutNever =)

I feel so good, 

I don't know what's come over me

Could it be the nice vibes in the party

Could it be the liquor,

Could it be that you're next to me

Okay so maybe I don't feel as happy as the above statement makes out. Those lyrics are taken from the song I Feel So Good by reggae artist Collie Buddz. I'm not in the best of moods at the moment but I do feel that to get out of my current moodiness, I need to start writing happy thoughts and hopefully this will have an impact on my actual mood. Whether or not it does that, we'll have to see. Stay tuned until the end of this blog post and you shall find out. Ooooh how tv-show-esque does that sound?! Exciting stuff!! Is the suspense killing you already?? ;)

So the other day, I was in a really musical mood, wanting to blast my music out and sing my heart out. Which I did. Much to our neighbors dismay. But we've already deciphered that I don't have the X Factor, I am the X Factor. People just don't recognise real talent when it's right there in front of them. Breaking their windows. . .

It then struck me that a good idea would be to analyse different songs about happiness to see what supposedly makes the artist happy. So that is what I did. Here is the results based on my analytic findings (I really should be a researcher/scientist with these amazingly long words flowing forth oh so naturally):

Ashanti ft. Ja Rule - Happy (How Ironic, right?)

So why did Ashanti feel the need to show the world how happy she was? The chorus of this song reveals all:

All my life I've been searching for you,

Everyday.

So glad that I found you boy,

All my life I've been feeling for you everyday.

I'm so happy today.

Evidently, Ashanti's happiness was down to the fact that she found a 'boy' who she'd been searching for everyday. She also says that he takes her pain away and it makes her feel good to know that Man In Question has fallen in love with her. Lovely! (Even though that exclamation sounds like it's dripping with sarcasm, it's really not. I'm not a bitter single person. . . )

NeverShoutNever - Happy

This is a song that I had never come across by a band/person that I had never heard of before. But I felt the need to mention it because it was a cute song with a pretty quirky beat:

You make me happy whether you know it or not.

We should be happy, that's what I said from the start.

I am so happy, knowing you are the one,

For the rest of my days,

You're all of my days.

I'm happy knowing that you are mine.

So I thought that was rather lovely. Okay so it is about a love interest yet again. But it's cute. So again, it was being with that special someone that made them happy. Really, that's simply adorable and fabulous. Time to move on. 

Frank Sinatra - You Make Me Feel So Young

Frank! My favourite Crooner of all time! I may be 19 but I think Frank was and is one of the best things to ever happen to music. But I decided to change perspective and check less ironic titles of songs and this one came to mind. 

You make me feel so young
You make me feel like spring has sprung
Every time I see you grin
I'm such a happy an individual

And I thought Frank would be different and not sing about love! But I still love him. But in all seriousness, Frank's love obviously made him feel young. And this would have made him happy. At least I hope it did. It'd be terrible if that song was really a cry for help, wouldn't it? =S But surely not every song about happiness would be about love and relationships and sickeningly sweet slobber stories?

Pharrell Williams - Happy

So I decided to go back to the ironic titles, as you can see. I love this song. It's so happy and it just makes me want to skip down the street like Pharrell does in the video. Then I realise that I don't live in a glorious part of America, minions aren't real and I'd probably be physically assaulted or detained. So, this song doesn't give a reason for happiness as such. I mean Pharrell hints at a girl being involved when he says:

Sunshine, she’s here, you can take a break

Correct me if I'm wrong but he's telling the sunshine that it can take a break because 'she's' here, so she is basically the sunshine of his life. Which I think is actually really, really sweet =) But he's basically saying that nothing can bring him down because he's happy and he just wants to clap and everyone else should clap but only if they want to because he wants them to be happy and if they clap because they're forced to it won't be a happy clap and then they'll get miserable. . . Wow. Did I just put a negative spin on a song called Happy? I need help =S

Akon ft. Wyclef - Sunny Day

So all these clappy vibes made me think of an old Akon song called Clap Again where he's talking about wanting to make his girl happy again (I just wanna make you clap again). But I came across his song called Sunny Day. The chorus, again, explains it better than I could:

Who'd ever thought that I would see this day?
Where I would see my ghetto life fade away.
'Cause I was lost and couldn't find a way,
And now I look forward to every day.
Welcome to my sunny day.
My sunny day.
Everyday,
A better day.

So this is a different kind of happy. This is almost like a relief. Akon was talking about the struggle of being in the ghetto and the feeling that you'd never escape it. The hate, the futility of the situation, the struggle, having nowhere to escape. He found his happy place when he left the ghetto, something he thought was impossible. So I thought that was nice, you know? Sometimes that's what people need to do to find their happy place: escape.

Collie Buddz - I Feel So Good

So this brings me back to ol' Collie. What made him feel good? It could have been a mixture of things. But it was mainly down to good vibes. People being happy around him. Being able to trust the people around him. Not being on edge. Just enjoying life. Because it's important we do that sometimes. Just take a little time out to enjoy life. 

Instagrammers

So I thought I'd leave the best 'til last. I asked my Instagram followers what makes them happy. And I mean really, genuinely happy. It was so interesting to see the responses actually.  (By the way, if you want to follow me on Instagram, my screen name is @ditzypolkadot. Cheeky plug there I know, but I can't help it!)

So the responses included food; chocolate in particular, which is totally understandable of course. Then a few said family and friends which was lovely and again, very understandable and very true. I seriously think if you're surrounded by good family and/or friends that really love and care for you, you need very little else. Someone else said reading and shopping! Agreed!!! Hopefully reading this blog makes some of you happy =) Another said laughing, about anything with anyone. This really ties in with my happiness which shall be revealed shortly.

One person in particular stood out to me though when she said this:

"Sipping a nice cup of hot chocolate [agreed, H/C is always better than coffee or tea] on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket, and snuggling next to my boyfriend as some random TV show plays on. It didn't matter [what it is], just spending time with him doing nothing makes me fantabulously happy".

That really is beautiful. Because at the end of the day, we don't need riches, big houses, fancy cars, coffee from a fancy coffee machine or gold chains around our neck. All we really need is good company. Also, loving the use of the word 'fantabulously' there. It's been my favourite word for a while now and then you go and use it! Weird!! 

You see, again, it's the small things with me. I've said this before, but my happiness come from spending time with my family. My brother, sisters and mum, all chilling in the living room, eating a box of KFC/kebabs all round/my mums amazing lamb curry, with the telly on in the background (Mock The Week or 8 Out Of 10 Cats or any form of comedy), with us all having a laugh and doing nothing. That makes me feel really content.

You guys know I love being made to laugh. But even better than that, I love making people laugh. I wrote this a while ago about what makes me truly happy:

This is what makes my day. This is what makes me happy. This is one of the things that makes me feel that life is worth living. This is what I live for. I live to make people smile/laugh. I'm not being humble either. Sure, I'd love to have enough money to live comfortably. I'd like nice things, a nice house and a nice car. But at the end of the day, I could have nothing, yet if I manage to do the above, I will have everything. I really, truly, 100% believe that. You guys should try it if you haven't already. Then you'll know what I mean =)

Oh and just for the record, I'm actually feeling a little brighter now. It's mad how much just writing about happiness can make you a little happier =)

Keep smiling, folks!

Ditzy xXx

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