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Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Compliment Freely Because We Are Beautiful

Hello there cupcakes! I hope you're all good and deliciously glorious as ever ;) (Yes, 'glorious' is still among my favourite words at the moment).

Today I've decided to talk about beauty. It's not going to be a soppy, girly, emotional post, so don't worry. But the inspiration behind this is from a comment that was left on my last post. The person (Anonymous) shared a link that really was amazing.

I found the actual YouTube link which is here. . .

This is an experiment that Dove conducted. It involved a group of women who didn't know each other and a Forensic Composite Artist called Gil Zamora.

The ladies didn't know what was going to happen. One by one, one of the women would enter a room. Gil was in the room, but he had his back to her so that he could not see what she looked like. She had to sit behind a screen and answer questions that Gil asked about her looks. She would explain prominent features, distinct marks or scars, face shape, etc. Gil would then draw her according to the way she described herself.

Then, the woman was asked to get friendly with one of the others. Afterwards, they would come back and explain the looks of each other, alone. Gil still hadn't set eyes on any of them, but he drew them as the person described.

I'm not sure if this is making any sense, which is why you really need to watch the video. It's only 6 minutes long and just so much easier than reading my written description.

However, the ladies were then revealed both pictures Gil had drawn of them; the first being how they described themselves and the second being how someone else described them. The contrast was unreal.

Whereas the self described pictures were harsh, rough, and quite intimidating, the ones where they had been described by someone else were so different. They were beautiful. Each and every one.

One lady in particular described her own chin as rather large. She said her mother always said she had a big chin, which made her believe she actually did. Let me tell you now, this lady's chin was not big in any way. My thoughts were confirmed when she was described by someone else as having a small narrow chin.

So anyway, this made me think of all of us. We all have things about us that we don't like. That will never change. For example, I think I have a very harsh jaw line. Like, a man would be jealous of my jaw line. No joke. I also think I have a big nose. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to get people to say "oh you don't have a weird jaw line or big nose". To be honest, I've learnt to live with it and I take the mick out of my imperfections. To make light of something, makes it almost non-existent. That's how I feel anyway.

But this video made me rethink all of this. I'm not saying that I don't have a harsh jaw line and big nose but maybe it's not the centre of attention on my face (even though my nose is at the centre of my face, but you know what I mean). Maybe some nicer features of my face take away the harshness of the not so nice areas.

Am I making sense? I really don't know if I am. I'm tired and my Chronic Fatigue/ME has been messing me up big time lately. But anyway, hopefully you get the gist of what I'm trying to say.

Maybe our imperfections aren't so big in reality. Maybe we focus on them so much, that they take away the prominence of our nice features in our minds.

So this is what I've decided to do. I've decided to compliment more. I don't find it hard to compliment people. I don't get filled with jealousy if someone is thinner than me, prettier than me, dresses better than me, is more popular than me, etc. I've been brought up to say if I like something. For example, if someone I hug smells nice, I will say "oooh you smell fab!" and then I will give another hug, while deliberately inhaling and savouring that glorious scent. This is known as the "Double Hug" and I am regularly associated with it. Sometimes I'll even go into a triple hug. Also, if someone I don't know walks past me and has amazing shoes, I will tell them. That may make me out to be a weirdo but let's face it: I am a weirdo. Also, you don't know what difference that small compliment will make in that person's life.

However, I can't stand people who find it physically impossible to give out compliments. I don't mean people who are too shy. That's fine and understandable. However, I mean the people that hate the fact that someone else looks good and therefore they refuse to compliment and just stand afar giving daggers to that person.

I don't have time for people who are like that. Compliment freely, people. But just don't get creepy ;)

So, if you see someone with nice shoes, a good tie, epic cufflinks, amazing hair, or a fab personality, TELL THEM! Don't hold back! There is so much negativity in this world. It really can make a difference if we just compliment someone once a day.

And to those that find it difficult to take a compliment, just say thank you! Don't deny it. You know the whole scenario:

Complimenter: "Oh wow, your hair is so amazing! It's such a lovely colour!"
Complimentee: "Ugh no it's not. It's horrible. I hate it."
Complimenter: "Oh. Well. I really like it. I wish I had hair like that."
Complimentee: "Thanks but you really don't. It's so horrible. In fact now that you've reminded me of it, I want to go and shave it all off because it's so ridiculously horrible that I think I'm going to cry and have a nervous breakdown and then I'll raid the fridge and eat everything because I'm so depressed about it and then I'll get fat and then I'll get down about being fat and then I'll feel sorry for all the starving children of Africa because I'll feel like I've eaten all the food I could've sent to them and then I'll spiral into further depression and end up not being able to work and not being able to pay rent and then end up living on the street drinking cheap whiskey out of a brown paper bag and I'll die a horrible, lonely old woman with 5 stray cats surrounding me and I won't even have hair because I shaved it all off. "

You see? Wouldn't it have just been easier to have said "thank you" and then left it at that? Someone once said that a compliment is like a present. If I gave you a present, all wrapped up beautifully you wouldn't refuse it. So why refuse a compliment.

So people, compliment freely, accept them freely and just be happy. We haven't got time to be miserable. Or self destructive. Just be happy. And spread a little happiness to everyone else too because it feels good!

Keep Smiling Folks!

Ditzy xXx


  1. Great post & I remember seeing that Dove experiment before, it made me cry (ssshhh don't tell anyone) It's true it can be hard to take compliments (I'm not good at accepting them) but it is so much easier to just say thank you, which is what I do. hehe :) x

    1. It made me cry too! Glad you enjoyed this post! Thanks for your views ad comments. And yeah, it is easier to just accept them and say thank you isn't it? Hehe xXx

  2. Haha, the scenario made me chuckle...

  3. Aww thanks! Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading! xXx