Pinch, Punch First Day Of The Month!

Where has the month gone? Where?!?!?! Can you believe that January 2016 is actually over? Because I'm struggling to come to terms with it if I'm completely honest. Is time going faster or am I just getting older and therefore more aware of it? I don't know but I'm not sure I like it. But for now I'll grin and bear it and say a hearty "welcome" to February and all that it will bring.

Life is short. We know that. That phrase is thrown about all the time, sometimes as an excuse for recklessness, sometimes as an actual fact and sometimes just to fill awkward silences. Okay so granted, saying "life is short" in an awkward silence is probably gonna make things more awkward. In fact it will. Don't say it. I've done it before and the person backed away slowly thinking I was about to kill him.

But anyway, life is short. There's no two ways about it. You have your allotted time on this earth and once it's up, it's up. Some of us have longer than others but the reason we throw the phrase about so much is because the more we go on, the more we realise this. Loved ones leave us way before their time more and more and it's a terrifying fact of life. I've lost many people close to me and it never seems to get easier to deal with, but why should it? Death is a harsh reality that we have to deal with.

I don't care how cliche this sounds but tell the people you love that you love them. Tell people how much they mean to you. Write that book that you always wanted to write. Showcase those drawings you always wanted to get out there. Upload that singing video to YouTube. Shoot your shot. Post that vlog with those anecdotes you were nervous about. Reach those goals. Be who you want to be and the best version of that. Because our time is limited. Why not use that time to be as happy as we can be?

That's all easier said than done of course, but sometimes we're so stuck with thoughts of "I can't" that we fail to make ways to make things work. That's all. Just a little reminder that you deserve to be happy too, not just those around you.

Keep smiling folks, as hard as that may be at times.

Ditzy xXx

Follow me on Social Media!
Facebook: www.facebook.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/ditzypolkadot
Instagram: @ditzypolkadot

The Yellow Jelly Baby Syndrome

Well hello there you fine specimens! What brings you over to this neck of the blog woods? Whatever it is, I'm glad you came (cue The Wanted's Glad You Came music).

So I've had a rough couple of weeks lately. I've just got over a virus that knocked me off my feet for about a week (not in a nice way either). Anyway, good things seem to be happening to good people and I couldn't help but reevaluate my life in the most negative light possible. Like, really really negative. Like, blacker than black. Like, think of the films Les Misérables, The Colour Purple, Titanic, Revolutionary Road, Precious; put them all in a box and imagine the gloomy vibes that that concoction will give out. Well my mood made those films seem like happy family movies to watch on a Saturday night. Yes, that's how depressed and angry and emotional I felt.

So whilst wallowing in my despair and feeling sorry for myself, I graced my mood/condition with a name: The Yellow Jelly Baby Syndrome. Think of a bag of Jelly Babies. Which are the ones that you immediately go for? The red and black ones right? So you go through the bag, picking them out until you've only got the rubbish ones left. What colour? That's right, the yellow and green ones. Some people, if they're really desperate, will go for the green ones. Because they're not that bad, but you still have to grimace while you eat them. Then there's the yellow ones. The yellow ones. The yellow babies. The unwanted ones. The ones that have been left right to the end. The ones that only those people who are absolutely past the point of desperateness go for. Sometimes, people don't even eat them. They throw them away. And those that do go for them eat them whilst thinking, wishing, they were the red or black ones. But the point of the matter is, people would rather throw them away or leave them on the side forever than actually eat them. Because they are the horrible, rubbishy, unwanted yellow ones. And if you say you like the yellow ones, you're weird (but embrace it!).

So yeah, I felt like a Yellow Jelly Baby (and that's not just because my skin can sometimes take on a slightly yellow tinge).

So I accepted the fact that I am a Yellow Jelly Baby and I wallowed in it. And as I said, I felt sorry for myself for a while. I'm out of it now a little bit. And I'm slowly starting to take on my positiveness again.

I mean, you've got to stay positive after going on a negative binge, don't you? Otherwise you'll forever be miserable and that's no fun for anybody. And  maybe one day I'll be the Red Jelly Baby to someone. You never know!

Keep Smiling, Folks!

Ditzy xXx

Oh and if you want, follow me on Facebook and Instagram!
Instagram: @ditzypolkadot
Facebook: www.facebook.com/ditzypolkadot

Heartbroken Anonymous

'Heartbreak' 

It's a horrible word. It isn't a nice sounding word that describes something awful. It actually sounds bad. It's just horrible all over.

People say that heartbreak happens to older people. It's not something that kids can feel, neither is it something that teens go through. I mean sure, teens may think they've been heartbroken, but they couldn't have been really. But ladies and gents, that view is wrong. So very wrong. 

Toddlers, children, teens and adults feel heartbreak. Sure, it may be for different reasons. Obviously kids won't feel heartbreak due to a romantic relationship gone wrong. But abandonment, hate, neglect, shame. . . these are all things that can cause heartbreak. It's not all romanticised. 

Some people go through heartache and everyone knows about it. An unfaithful partner, a break up, being neglected, being abandoned, being mistreated. Lot's of people can find out about it. They can offer help and support. But that doesn't always happens. The whole world could know about it but it doesn't mean that you'll get any help to get through it. You're left to fight through it, alone. 

Then there are others. Others who go through the pain of heartache. And no one knows. No one ever finds out. No one ever will. That way no one can help. And you're left struggling, fighting this pain. Alone. You're breaking inside. And you want to literally tear your heart out because it just hurts. So much. You don't tell anyone. It's not because you don't trust them. You just don't want to reveal your weaknesses, your vulnerability, and the pure ridiculousness of it all. Because it's a stupid situation. You shouldn't be so hurt by it. It shouldn't affect you. But it does. And there is nothing you can do about it except ride it out and try to stop it from eating at you inside.

This happens way too much. Why do we give our hearts out to people who don't want it? Why does this always happen?

I'm sorry. I know this is a mega depressing post. But I can't help it. Like I said, writing is my therapy. Or maybe it's purely down to the fact that I have Beyonce's If I Were A Boy on repeat. You decide.

It's so important to keep in mind though, our reason to smile is just around the corner if we can't find it at present. Like for me, one day, I'll find that guy who completes me. The one that accepts my heart willingly. The one who makes me laugh until my insides hurt and then some. The one that shares my love of food. The one who accepts me for me, because let me tell you now, there's a lot of me to have to accept ;) Just the one who loves me as much as I love him. The one that makes me happier than anyone has ever been able to do before. Waiting is one of the hardest things though isn't it? Not knowing when it'll happen. But anyway, my time will come some day. I know it will. 

But we get down right? Sometimes, someone or something can hurt us so bad and we have to suffer in silence for a bit. We will get through it but we can't be strong all the time.

All I'm saying is, sometimes, we just have to stop pretending. Because it's tiring.

Ditzy xXx

Oh and just a quick reminder, if you want to support me via social networks I am on Facebook and Instagram. Really appreciate it guys =)

Instagram: @ditzypolkadot 
Facebook: www.facebook.com/ditzypolkadot

Compliment Freely Because We Are Beautiful

Hello there cupcakes! I hope you're all good and deliciously glorious as ever ;) (Yes, 'glorious' is still among my favourite words at the moment).

Today I've decided to talk about beauty. It's not going to be a soppy, girly, emotional post, so don't worry. But the inspiration behind this is from a comment that was left on my last post. The person (Anonymous) shared a link that really was amazing.

I found the actual YouTube link which is here. . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE

This is an experiment that Dove conducted. It involved a group of women who didn't know each other and a Forensic Composite Artist called Gil Zamora.

The ladies didn't know what was going to happen. One by one, one of the women would enter a room. Gil was in the room, but he had his back to her so that he could not see what she looked like. She had to sit behind a screen and answer questions that Gil asked about her looks. She would explain prominent features, distinct marks or scars, face shape, etc. Gil would then draw her according to the way she described herself.

Then, the woman was asked to get friendly with one of the others. Afterwards, they would come back and explain the looks of each other, alone. Gil still hadn't set eyes on any of them, but he drew them as the person described.

I'm not sure if this is making any sense, which is why you really need to watch the video. It's only 6 minutes long and just so much easier than reading my written description.

However, the ladies were then revealed both pictures Gil had drawn of them; the first being how they described themselves and the second being how someone else described them. The contrast was unreal.

Whereas the self described pictures were harsh, rough, and quite intimidating, the ones where they had been described by someone else were so different. They were beautiful. Each and every one.

One lady in particular described her own chin as rather large. She said her mother always said she had a big chin, which made her believe she actually did. Let me tell you now, this lady's chin was not big in any way. My thoughts were confirmed when she was described by someone else as having a small narrow chin.

So anyway, this made me think of all of us. We all have things about us that we don't like. That will never change. For example, I think I have a very harsh jaw line. Like, a man would be jealous of my jaw line. No joke. I also think I have a big nose. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to get people to say "oh you don't have a weird jaw line or big nose". To be honest, I've learnt to live with it and I take the mick out of my imperfections. To make light of something, makes it almost non-existent. That's how I feel anyway.

But this video made me rethink all of this. I'm not saying that I don't have a harsh jaw line and big nose but maybe it's not the centre of attention on my face (even though my nose is at the centre of my face, but you know what I mean). Maybe some nicer features of my face take away the harshness of the not so nice areas.

Am I making sense? I really don't know if I am. I'm tired and my Chronic Fatigue/ME has been messing me up big time lately. But anyway, hopefully you get the gist of what I'm trying to say.

Maybe our imperfections aren't so big in reality. Maybe we focus on them so much, that they take away the prominence of our nice features in our minds.

So this is what I've decided to do. I've decided to compliment more. I don't find it hard to compliment people. I don't get filled with jealousy if someone is thinner than me, prettier than me, dresses better than me, is more popular than me, etc. I've been brought up to say if I like something. For example, if someone I hug smells nice, I will say "oooh you smell fab!" and then I will give another hug, while deliberately inhaling and savouring that glorious scent. This is known as the "Double Hug" and I am regularly associated with it. Sometimes I'll even go into a triple hug. Also, if someone I don't know walks past me and has amazing shoes, I will tell them. That may make me out to be a weirdo but let's face it: I am a weirdo. Also, you don't know what difference that small compliment will make in that person's life.

However, I can't stand people who find it physically impossible to give out compliments. I don't mean people who are too shy. That's fine and understandable. However, I mean the people that hate the fact that someone else looks good and therefore they refuse to compliment and just stand afar giving daggers to that person.

I don't have time for people who are like that. Compliment freely, people. But just don't get creepy ;)

So, if you see someone with nice shoes, a good tie, epic cufflinks, amazing hair, or a fab personality, TELL THEM! Don't hold back! There is so much negativity in this world. It really can make a difference if we just compliment someone once a day.

And to those that find it difficult to take a compliment, just say thank you! Don't deny it. You know the whole scenario:

Complimenter: "Oh wow, your hair is so amazing! It's such a lovely colour!"
Complimentee: "Ugh no it's not. It's horrible. I hate it."
Complimenter: "Oh. Well. I really like it. I wish I had hair like that."
Complimentee: "Thanks but you really don't. It's so horrible. In fact now that you've reminded me of it, I want to go and shave it all off because it's so ridiculously horrible that I think I'm going to cry and have a nervous breakdown and then I'll raid the fridge and eat everything because I'm so depressed about it and then I'll get fat and then I'll get down about being fat and then I'll feel sorry for all the starving children of Africa because I'll feel like I've eaten all the food I could've sent to them and then I'll spiral into further depression and end up not being able to work and not being able to pay rent and then end up living on the street drinking cheap whiskey out of a brown paper bag and I'll die a horrible, lonely old woman with 5 stray cats surrounding me and I won't even have hair because I shaved it all off. "

You see? Wouldn't it have just been easier to have said "thank you" and then left it at that? Someone once said that a compliment is like a present. If I gave you a present, all wrapped up beautifully you wouldn't refuse it. So why refuse a compliment.

So people, compliment freely, accept them freely and just be happy. We haven't got time to be miserable. Or self destructive. Just be happy. And spread a little happiness to everyone else too because it feels good!

Keep Smiling Folks!

Ditzy xXx

I Am Me. . . Not The Girl With Diabetes

Hello cupcakes! How are you all?

We have many reasons to celebrate today! The sun is out, the sky is clear, and we're alive. Yep. We are alive.

Those of you who don't me personally don't know this, but I have Type 1 Diabetes. I have had it for 12 and a half years now and, I'm not going to lie, at times it has wrecked my life. But I now have an Insulin Pump called Patrick. I decided that since the pump would be my life partner for the rest of my life, he needed a name. So I graced him with the name 'Patrick', kind of named after Patrick Star from SpongeBob. But I call him Patrizio when I'm feeling posh and/or Italian. He's been amazing in keeping my blood sugars under control. And to be honest, it beats injecting 4-8 times a day! No more bruises!

Just so you know, Type 1 Diabetes is completely different to Type 2. Whereas Type 2 is diet and obesity related, Type 1 is not. It is to do with a virus and genetics. There's nothing you can do to prevent it or cure it. Anyway, I've had Patrick for 18 months now and things were going perfectly. Then I had a bad blip, and now things are back to normal again and seem to be going smoothly.

However, I received some pretty startling news last Thursday when I went to see my Diabetes Consultant. My kidneys are leaking. So I seem to have the onset of Diabetic Nephropathy (or Kidney Disease). I won't know for sure how far along I am until my test results come back. However, this pretty much made my world come crashing down for a few days. Wow, how deep does that sound?! But it's how I felt, truth be told.

So I wallowed in the fact that 'leaky kidneys' was yet another thing to add to the list of things wrong with me. I felt sorry for myself and cried lots. And I was such a miserable person, which is very unlike me. But then realisation struck. . .

I am alive. I have access to medical care that isn't available to many people in other countries. I have a good, supportive family and amazing friends. My heart is still beating. What I have isn't terminal. I don't have Cancer. I don't have anything even close to that! I'm young. And I'm going to fight this 'til the end.

Don't get me wrong, I needed to wallow in my issues for a while. I needed to be treated delicately and I needed to feel sorry for myself for a few days. But that's it. That's all I really needed to do to snap back out of it. Us humans, we moan about so much. We worry about things that aren't even worth worrying about. We think our problems are the worst in the world. How wrong we are though.

There is always, always, someone going through so much worse than we are. I don't find that thought comforting at all. But it makes me look at my own issues in a different light and it helps me to put my own issues into perspective.

So even though I thought I was getting better but I'm evidently not, I'm not going to let this affect me too much. I mean, I'm going to try and live a healthier lifestyle which is beneficial regardless. But I'm not going to let this mess with my head too much. Whatever happens, happens. As long as I am surrounded by the people I love and cherish and am made to laugh more than I could possibly handle, well, I'll be happy =)

This brings me to the reason behind the title for this post. I want all my friends to know who I am. I want to be known for my personality: my weirdness, craziness, utter hilariousness ;) and just the girl who gets so excited over stupid things (sometimes I don't even know why I'm excited. Think of the whole "I'm so excited! Are you excited? Because I'm soooooo excited but I don't know why!" scenario). And the girl who talks so much that she actually gets out of breath. I kid you not. It's happened on numerous occasions. Especially when it comes to meeting people I don't know. I have two extremes; either I go mute or I talk wayyyy too much.

But anyway, I digress again. So I want to be known for all that. I don't want to be known as the girl with diabetes, bad health, ketones(!), kidney issues, and the like. Because that's not me. Its just stuff that's been pinned on me involuntarily.

So there. I feel better now I've got that off my chest. It's amazing how much writing can help clear your head.

Anyway, I hope you've kind of enjoyed this post. I apologise profusely for the intense 'emo' undertones. But yeah, have a good day people! Hope you're enjoying the sun as much as I am!!

Keep smiling folks!

Ditzy xXx