Spring Is Here! Let's Turn Over A New Leaf!

My glorious readers I'm sorryyyyyyy! I haven't posted in soooo long! But I have a good reason. I have a job!!! Whooop! Can we just take a moment to celebrate that fact? I have a job!! A paying job!! A job that I love. And it pays. And I love it. And it's amazing. And my boss buys us all breakfast sometimes. Yes!! My job sometimes includes free food!! I'm actually welling up a bit now. Because I haven't actually had a chance to actually appreciate that fact and ponder it properly. My job pays in money but it also has the added bonus of food =') and you all know how much food means to me right? Like, food means EVERYTHING to me. Everything. I was actually thinking about this the other day. Let me explain. . .

So a lot of my friends are getting married and engaged and are finding their significant others while I'm just here like, "Aww, isn't Marshmallow Fluff like the coolest invention ever??" I also have an unhealthy obsession with a lil food place called Nandos. If you don't know what Nando's is, it's an amazing restaurant that specialises in chicken. It's uh-mazing. In fact, stop reading this blog for a second, open up a new tab (I hope you're not one of those people that works with new windows still. We're in 2014 now. Keep up.) And Google 'Nando's'. Read up on it if you so want. But ultimately, find out where your nearest one is, find out how you and your homies are gonna get there and figure out when. Preferably after you've finished reading this blog. Finish reading, maybe share this blog if you're feeling generous and then GO!!! GO TO NANDO'S PEOPLE. SPREAD YOUR WINGS. LIVE. LIVE DANGEROUSLY. LIVE HAPPILY. LIVE NANDOS!

Ahem, anyway, my thought process... ah yeah! The reason I bring up Nando's is because I had yet another epiphany. When the time comes for me to eventually settle down and get hitched, I would happily accept a cheapo sterling silver engagement ring provided it comes along with a lifetimes subscription for Nando's. Seriously. I just want to be united with Nando's forever. Like, I want all happy events to happen in Nando's... anyway, we'll stop the Nando's talk now... the more I reflect, the more I believe I need help and that's unnerving.

Erm so yeah I have a job! I now write for a living. Not freelance or anything. I write about subjects that I am told to write about but it's doing what I love and for that I'm soooo grateful! I never thought I'd get paid to write! And I can write what I want on here, so this is my freestyle writing canvas if you like haha. But working full time is enjoyable but also a shock to the system so I've been shattered! And a lot happened in my life before I got my job so that was all a bit hectic. So that's why I've not written on here. Sorry guys!! But I am gonna be regular now.

A lot has happened since getting this job. A lot of good, some pretty bad but mainly good! My singleness isn't getting to me as much. And this isn't gonna be yet another relationship post. But I will say this: I've seen so many memes on social networking sites saying how perfect relationships should be and people's ideas of perfect relationships. Some I love, some I disagree with. But these memes are just different people's opinions on what perfect relationships are. They might not necessarily be perfect for you though. For example, I know for a fact that if I had a significant other, most of the time, my idea of the perfect weekend would be: ultimate chillout mode, hoodies, videogames, junk food, no makeup, hair up, lynx infused cuddles, ciders and watching footy on match day whilst freely shouting/throwing cushions at the telly during goals. But then, some weekends I'd want to dress up and wear my best clothes and go for drinks out and wear expensive perfume and have a laugh and be a right girly girl. It all depends on my and his mood. What I'm trying to say is, don't let memes dictate how you are. If you hate the idea of football, give it a go. If you still hate it after trying to like it, fine! Don't feel that you have to like certain things or be a certain way to please your boyfriend/girlfriend. And if you feel inadequate, ask yourself why. A relationship is meant to make you both feel good. It's not meant to be one sided. Ha! There I go again giving relationship advice when I haven't even been in a proper relationship... story of my life!

So anyway before I go, I feel I have to mention sport in this post. This weekend has been such an amazing weekend in sport. Football wise, Derby County beat Nottingham Forest 5 nil. Yep, you read that right. 5 NIL!!!! And seeing the highlights was a glorious sight indeed. Well done you Rams!! And in cricket news, India beat the West Indies, so well done guys!!

So yeah, a good sport weekend all round ;)

Anyway, keep smiling peeps!

Ditzy xXx

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Please follow me guys. I love hearing from you and completely appreciate the support! And feel free to share this post *hint hint*. Thanks sooo much! xXx

Heartbroken Anonymous

'Heartbreak' 

It's a horrible word. It isn't a nice sounding word that describes something awful. It actually sounds bad. It's just horrible all over.

People say that heartbreak happens to older people. It's not something that kids can feel, neither is it something that teens go through. I mean sure, teens may think they've been heartbroken, but they couldn't have been really. But ladies and gents, that view is wrong. So very wrong. 

Toddlers, children, teens and adults feel heartbreak. Sure, it may be for different reasons. Obviously kids won't feel heartbreak due to a romantic relationship gone wrong. But abandonment, hate, neglect, shame. . . these are all things that can cause heartbreak. It's not all romanticised. 

Some people go through heartache and everyone knows about it. An unfaithful partner, a break up, being neglected, being abandoned, being mistreated. Lot's of people can find out about it. They can offer help and support. But that doesn't always happens. The whole world could know about it but it doesn't mean that you'll get any help to get through it. You're left to fight through it, alone. 

Then there are others. Others who go through the pain of heartache. And no one knows. No one ever finds out. No one ever will. That way no one can help. And you're left struggling, fighting this pain. Alone. You're breaking inside. And you want to literally tear your heart out because it just hurts. So much. You don't tell anyone. It's not because you don't trust them. You just don't want to reveal your weaknesses, your vulnerability, and the pure ridiculousness of it all. Because it's a stupid situation. You shouldn't be so hurt by it. It shouldn't affect you. But it does. And there is nothing you can do about it except ride it out and try to stop it from eating at you inside.

This happens way too much. Why do we give our hearts out to people who don't want it? Why does this always happen?

I'm sorry. I know this is a mega depressing post. But I can't help it. Like I said, writing is my therapy. Or maybe it's purely down to the fact that I have Beyonce's If I Were A Boy on repeat. You decide.

It's so important to keep in mind though, our reason to smile is just around the corner if we can't find it at present. Like for me, one day, I'll find that guy who completes me. The one that accepts my heart willingly. The one who makes me laugh until my insides hurt and then some. The one that shares my love of food. The one who accepts me for me, because let me tell you now, there's a lot of me to have to accept ;) Just the one who loves me as much as I love him. The one that makes me happier than anyone has ever been able to do before. Waiting is one of the hardest things though isn't it? Not knowing when it'll happen. But anyway, my time will come some day. I know it will. 

But we get down right? Sometimes, someone or something can hurt us so bad and we have to suffer in silence for a bit. We will get through it but we can't be strong all the time.

All I'm saying is, sometimes, we just have to stop pretending. Because it's tiring.

Ditzy xXx

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Relationships, Advice, Annoying Advice Givers, Irrationality and How Chocolate Is Better Than Gold ;)

"Let me tell you where you're going wrong in your relationship" said the single person to the person having relationship issues.

I can imagine you right now. Reading this blog on your laptop/computer/phone sitting on your sofa, travelling on the train, walking in the cold, or sat in a café feeling slightly awkward because you're waiting for someone but you don't want to seem like a loner. So you've got your phone out to try and look less lonely to others. And you've decided to take a look a my blog. Thank you by the way! But I can predict two different responses by two different groups of people. Those off the market and in a relationship will tense up at the above sentence. That sentence will send a shiver down their spines as its remind them of a certain someone offering "friendly advice" on their relationship issues. Then there's those that are single. I can imagine you slumping down in your seat, getting more comfortable, like sipping a warm creamy hot chocolate on a cold winters night, smug smile on your face. You've either offered this "advice" to someone or you're just happy that you haven't got the hassle of relationship issues.

Anyway, either way, we all know who I'm talking about. That one friend who has never been in a proper relationship, or hasn't been in one in a while, or is perhaps even newly single but immediately grabbing singleness by the horns. Or maybe you are that friend.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am that person. As much as it pains me to say it, I am that single friend who gives advice out on how to try and heal a relationship. However, I have to stress, I don't offer this advice. I only give it out when asked. When a friend is stressed out about an issue that he/she has, I may be one of the people they turn to. And I'm happy to help if I can. I like to think I'm pretty unbiased when it comes to stuff like that. I know how important and yet fragile relationships are and I'd never try and get involved in someone's issues. I've got enough of my own and I'm not drama's biggest fan. Like, if drama was walking towards me on a street, I would cross the road. Heck, I'd cross a motorway without a pedestrian/zebra crossing to avoid it. And yes, I know a motorway doesn't have crossings anyway but I'm saying it to add effect. Is it working? And also, anyone that knows me knows that I hate crossing any sort of road. Safety is a big thing for me and no matter how clear the road is, I will wait for the green man before I cross that death trap.

So anyway, through my 19 years in this world I've witnessed many relationships. Wait. . . that makes them sound like murder. Let's rephrase that. Through my 19 years in this world I've observed many relationships. Many. But I'm not complaining. Even though I'm not currently in one, I feel I'm ready to handle anything a relationship throws at me. *Famous last words*. But really, I think my observations have paid off and I think I've learnt lots about relationships, particularly about how some guys and girls think.

*** DISCLAIMER: Emphasis on the some guys and girls. I am not implying that all guys and girls are like this. So please don't twist my words and please don't take me wrong. This is just my humble observations that I thought I'd share. ***

So I was talking to a friend about this whole thing. There's that whole stereotype about guys being players and going off with other girls and such like. But I've noticed an increase in girls doing this recently. I'm not saying girls never used to be like that. But in my life, I've recently seen more and more leave good, respectable guys for other guys.

Now, there is that whole argument that we don't know what goes on behind closed doors and we don't know what has moved the person to take such drastic actions. But in my opinion, nothing condones unfaithfulness. If it's not working out with your boyfriend/girlfriend and the relationship is really beyond repair, just end it. Don't go off with someone else. As hard as it would be for someone to take the fact that you're ending the relationship, wouldn't it be better for them to know that it ended because stuff just wasn't working out, rather than being told that you've found someone else?

But anyway, this friend and I came to this conclusion: for some guys, it's looks that attract them most. Beautiful girl and then personality comes after. Not to say personality doesn't matter to a guy. That's not what I'm saying at all. But for girls, we say we're looking for someone genuine. Someone who can make us laugh maybe? I don't know what your big thing is but mine is humour. A guy that can make me belly laugh means a lot. But that doesn't mean that any guy that makes me laugh will instantly have my heart. But it helps. It's a requirement for me. But I'm not one of those girls that says looks don't matter. Because they do. I'm not being shallow, I'm being real. There has to be a physical attraction. Don't deny it! But that doesn't mean that he has to look like a model and every girl that walks past him practically palpitates and faints. I don't care what others think about him. As long as I'm attracted to him, other people's opinions don't matter.

So anyway, this is the conclusion: Guys look for a beautiful girl. If a beautiful guy gives a girl attention and tries to get to know her, it will make her feel beautiful. Because she has it in her mind that guys automatically go for beautiful girls. And if she's never had that before, it will feel even more special. Because it is special. So if things work out and beautiful guy starts going out with beautiful girl, yay for them! But then this can get to beautiful girl's head. She might start thinking that because this beautiful guy was attracted to her, maybe the possibilities are endless. Who else could she get? And so the competition within herself begins. And she falls into a trap. And finds someone else.

Again, this isn't the case all the time. And the proverbial tables could easily be turned and a guy could find himself in this position. But this is just my observations of a few relationships I've observed.

So people, I think my message today is all about appreciation. Appreciate what you have. Because if it's good, it's worth keeping hold of. And I'm not just talking about relationships. This goes with pretty much everything. Look for the good in what you have. If it's broken, try to fix it. If it's good, make it even better. Because good is hard to find. But I'm convinced that when you've got it, you need to keep tight hold of it.

Oh just a side point, Cadbury's are doing this thing where you might find a bar of gold instead of chocolate in one of their dairy milk bars. Now, this is rather exciting. But me currently being a menstrual minstrel, I'm in that select time of month where nothing is positive and everything is a great big negative. Want to know how finding a bar of gold in your chocolate wrapper is a negative? I'll tell you. . .

Maybe I just want chocolate. Maybe I've walked all the way to Morrisons, bought myself a chocolate bar and slowly tortured myself by waiting until I walked all the way home again to open it and dig in. I will have gotten into my JimJams, set up residence on the sofa with a duvet, glasses on, ready to watch my daily chain of New Girl followed by the Mindy Project. I will probably have a glass of either Coke and Milk, a cup of hot chocolate, or a cuppa chaa. I'll probably have forgotten my chocolate in my bag which is miiiiiles away (on the other sofa... about half a meter away but it still requires me to get up). After sighing and moaning, I'll get it, reassume my seat on the sofa again, open the wrapper ready to devour this much anticipated bar of gloriousness when BAM! It's a bar of gold. I would cry. I'm not even kidding, I would cry. Because all rationality, sensibleness, common sense, and everything else, has left me. I want my chocolate. And I would sacrifice my right arm for it.

Yes you may say that if you cashed the gold you could buy a million bars of chocolate. But that takes time. And it requires me to get up and go and change my clothes and walk and wait. I can't handle that. I need the chocolate.

Guys, if you're reading this, those top two paragraphs have probably freaked you out no end. To be honest, reading it back, it's made me feel a little bit scared of myself. But it's true. Even I can't believe how awful I sound. But this is a glimpse into a woman's mind when she's at her most vulnerable. So just accept it. And like that meme that's currently been circulating the 'net for about 3 years says:

"If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is.

If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her".

 

Ha! And you all thought that meme was created purely in jest. Nope. It was created by a menstrual woman. Or a guy who's been seriously injured by a menstrual woman and therefore learnt from his mistakes and is kind enough to warn other guys about it ;)

 

Just a piece of advice I thought I'd share ;)

 

Keep smiling folks!

 

Ditzy xXx