Ugh how long has it been since I last spoke to you guys?! I'll tell you how long. . . 17 months! And I know that sounds like an overbearing mother saying her child is 24 months instead of simply 2 years old but I needed to emphasise the enormity of the matter. 17 months of no pointless ramblings from a slightly demented, verbally gesticular heap of a person. "Verbally gesticular" isn't really a term by the way but it seems fitting for how I feel. In fact, "gesticular" isn't a word but it doesn't matter because it's satisfying to say. Say it. . . "gesticular". Glorious, right?
So, if you've followed my trail of pandemonium, you'll know that I started doing vlogs on YouTube. It was just another platform I wanted to try out since I love talking so much and to be honest, my friends seemed to enjoy them as much as I liked making them so that was pretty rewarding in itself.
Then I got ill.
********** SHOCK **********
********** HORROR *********
********** DISASTER **********
***boo hoo/sob sob/waterworks/sighs of pity/too bad/oh what shame/life goes on***
Now I'm on the road to recovery. So I thought I'd say hi, inform you thatI'm not dead and let you know that I plan to be here to stay. I miss writing my scattered thoughts down and I miss hearing your reactions to my posts. So I've decided to start blogging again, with maybe the occasional vlog thrown about here and there for good measure.
A lot has happened over the past year or so but I feel like it'd be redundant to talk about it all. Though it has to be said, despite everything, my love of food is still heartily intact. So I'm almost back to my old self with a bit more wisdom and a smidgen more body fat but ya know what? That's okay. Because I'm in a pretty bright place right now. And nope, it's not because I have a 100 watt light bulb in my lamp (don't ask).
So basically this is my big:
"Hello, it's me,
I was wondering if after all these months you'd like to read,
To go over everything.
They say that times supposed to heal ya,
And I've done quite a lot of healing actually.
Hello, can you see this?
I'm sat behind this screen in England with a cup of tea.
And it's raining. . . and cold,
I've forgotten how it felt to be able to feel my feet.
There's such a difference, between my posts
And a million thoughts.
Hello from the other side
I must've wrote a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry for not posting so much
But when I sit down to write, my brain turns to mulch
Hello from the outside
At least this post that I've designed
Is something that I'm a little bit proud of.
And I hope that you think it's not -overly soft
For a blog."
Okay I had a lot of fun writing that. It was totally unplanned. I intended to just write "this is my big "hello, it's me, I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to read" but then it escalated like a Bollywood movie/Telenovela explosion (yep, I'm hooked on Jane The Virgin). It's actually so cringey it's giving me butterflies but I can't have a big Adele-like break and not come back in Adele-like manner, can I?
So anyway, let me leave before I absolutely, unapologetically obliterate another song.
So most of you already know that I have Type 1 Diabetes. I've had it for 13 and a half years (since I was 6 years old) and I've been an insulin pump user for 2 and a half years and my pumps name is Patrick Jr. (my first pump died after a year of having it and his name was Patrick). Anyway, the reason I bring all this up is because a recent news story caught my interest. It was about a model who wore her insulin pump on stage. And this made me happy. And because of that fact, I want to write about it.
The story is about 20 year old Idaho Beauty Queen, Sierra Sandison. She attracted even more attention because she chose to wear her insulin pump whilst modelling in her bikini on stage. Now, this has made me sooo happy, you don't even understand.
First of all, I've never been embarrassed of my pump. It took me 8 miserable years of injecting 4-8 times a day to finally get mine, so I'm proud to wear it. It's sort of a reminder to me of my long fought battle that I won in the end. But I do understand why some people don't want it on show. Some look at it as a constant reminder of their condition and some just don't want people to know about their diabetes. Which is fine. I've just never had that problem. But then again, I'm a person who's life is pretty much an open book and I understand not everyone is like that.
Anyway, Sierra was diagnosed when she was 18, so she's a diabetes newbie, if you like. But she decided that she would wear her pump. Because, why hide it? If you want to read the story, it can be found here. << See? I made it easy for you ;)
To be honest though, my take on the whole situation is this: what is the point in hiding the pump? You'll end up stressing yourself out by trying to hide it all the time. Beach trips will be a nightmare and you're essentially being ashamed of something that you've no reason to be ashamed of.
I understand how difficult life with Type 1 Diabetes can be though. I've had a lot of stick in the past because people think they know all about it. I used to be in hospital a lot before I got my insulin pump because I kept getting ketones and going into DKA (Diabetic Ketoacidosis) which is basically the #1 killer in Type 1 Diabetics. Ketones is basically acid in your blood that starts to eat away at your body fat. Or something like that. But I had people making the old snide comments like:
"Oooh well she does eat a lot of sweet stuff"
"Oh well she's never refused a biscuit when I've offered one to her"
"Ohhh well if she watched what she ate, maybe she wouldn't be in hospital so much"
"Oh well obviously it's because she eats absolute rubbish. I mean I saw her scoff a KFC the other day and that's why she keeps ending up in hospital"
Yeah, trust me, I've had it all. I've also had the common "helpful/curious suggestions/questions":
"Ooooh should you be eating that?"
"Well I don't have anything sugar free, will you be ok with this? It's got lots of sugar in it"
"Right, well, I would give you the box of chocolates but on second thought, I don't want you binging and ending up in hospital so here, have this small pack instead"
See? All this has got one thing in common. They all say "oh" a lot. Hehe just kidding. No but seriously, it's obvious: they're all diet related. See, because type 2 diabetes is so prevalent nowadays, people think that that's it. Type 1 and Type 2 are the same. But they're not. In fact, the only thing they have in common is that they're to do with insulin production. In fact they're so different that I strongly think that Type 1 Diabetes should be called something else and therefore putting a stop to stereotypes.
I didn't get Type 1 Diabetes because I ate too many sweets, contrary to popular belief. I got it because my pancreas stopped producing insulin. The route cause of this is unknown but it could be down to genetics or a virus that I had when I was younger that messed my body up internally. I'll never be sure. But the fact of the matter remains; Type 1 Diabetes is nothing nothing nothing to do with diet.
The thing with type 2 is you have to watch what you eat. With type 1 you learn to count your carbs. This is so that you can count the carbohydrates that you eat and therefore give yourself enough insulin to break it down properly. This then maintains your blood sugar levels, provided you get your carb-to-insulin ratios right. This means that I can have a whole tub of ice cream if I wanted; provided I give myself enough insulin, my blood sugars will stay stable. (I've tried this and it worked). But obviously, just like a person without diabetes, you wouldn't do this all the time because it's unhealthy for anyone.
So to all you people who offer "friendly advice" such as questioning a Type 1 Diabetics choice of food, think first. Because there is honestly nothing more annoying. And it makes us want to punch you in the face whilst scoffing a bucket of KFC and washing it down with a McFlurry after (Ooooh KFC AND Maccy Dees in one sentence! How controversial!). Literally, nothing provokes me more.
This chica is nearly 48, diabetic and mum of 2!
Also, one last thing. Sierra Sandison should be an inspiration to all Type 1 Diabetics out there, because she definitely is to me. Don't use Type 1 Diabetes as an excuse for not being able to lose weight because it genuinely isn't a valid one. This disease shouldn't stop you from doing anything, because it's not like Type 2 Diabetes. You can have that killer body that you want because it won't stop you from achieving it. Only you can stop that. Through a steady healthy eating regime and light exercise, I've found myself having to shrink my jeans in the dryer just so that they fit! (That skint life tho... xD).
And just ponder this fact for a second: The gorgeous being that is Halle Berry, is also Type 1 Diabetic. And she has a body that literally makes you die a little inside. So you cannot tell me that it's impossible to lose weight with Type 1 Diabetes. If you're on insulin, you can go on a low carb diet! I have and it's been amazing! Obviously, your body is your sculpture and your diabetes is your art to get right. So what works for me won't necessarily work for you. Consult your doc before making big changes. But don't ever use Type 1 Diabetes as an excuse.
So, be free and do what you want. Type 1 Diabetes is not a something to tie you down. It's just something we've been pinned with until they find a cure. Eat that ice cream, give your insulin and Z Snap anyone that asks you if you should be eating that.
The Music Corner
So seeing as I always seem to mention music in my posts, I've decided to do "The Music Corner". This new addition is going to be where I feature my favourite songs at the moment and skip to the good bit (Oh HELLO Rizzle Kicks reference!).
So today I'm gonna be talking about George Ezra. Look at his little face! This guy is honestly so amazing. I love his voice so much. It's so deep and powerful without going all "soul ballad-y". My favorite song by him is Blame It On Me. It's so beautiful and earthy. But obviously, he came to my attention for his song called Budapest.
I have one issue though Georgey.
It's just these lyrics:
My friends and family
They don't understand
They fear they'd lose so much
If you take my hand
But for you
I'd lose it all
Well George maybe that's the problem. Your family probably don't know this girl. And they know that if you went with her BAM! You'd leave them. That's what they don't understand. How could you leave them for some chick? Tell us that George.
But other than that, it's a fab song. So check it out. I'd also recommend checking out his performance at Glastonbury because it was goosebumpily glorious (ooooh alliteration! How exciting!).
So anyway, that's all I have to say now! Hope you're enjoying the sun as much as I am!
Nope nope nope, don't get excited. I'm not in love. Well, I am but it's not what you think. The culprit is popcorn. Yes, popcorn. I am in love with popcorn. So much so that I'd go so far as to say it's better than chocolate. Yep. I said it. *cue all hormonal, menstrual girls to start a witch hunt for me now*. Just call me Wayne ;) I've always liked popcorn, but recently, I've been eating it quite a lot. And I've started experimenting with different flavours, adding stuff to the mix and just going a bit crazy as per usual. Let me tell you now, the possibilities are ENDLESS. It's a whole new world of excitement, so if I were you, I'd enter it now. So popcorn is the reason for the title of this blog post. I have an unexplainable love for it and I need it and it should never leave me.
Also just a huge congratulations to Sam Smith for reaching Number 1 in the UK charts for Stay With Me. What a glorious song that is!!!!! And also congrats to Ed Sheeran for getting his first UK No1 for Sing. That song will always get me dancing. It's fab!!! Also, a small part of me hopes these two will Google their names one day and stumble upon this blog... yeah...
Anyway, complete change of subject here but don't you hate it when you walk into a bathroom and the automatic air freshener sprays as soon as you walk in. I mean really! Rude much? I just got here and you already feel the need to scent my path? Maybe I just came in to wash my hands! I mean, how is that meant to make a girl feel? Just imagine:
"Aww you look beautiful! But hold up. Let me "Febreeze" you up first".
These air fresheners need to sort themselves out. I mean, if we can invent stuff like phones controlled by eye movement, you can't tell me we can't have air fresheners to spray when we leave the bathroom. At least be sly about it.
Another swift change of subject (I have ADHD thoughts today so just go with it. I don't have ADHD though, I'm wayyyy too lazy), but is it just me or do The 1975 seem to creep a lot? (If you think that's a typo for "the year 1975" remove yourself from this blog, YouTube them and then kick yourself for not knowing who they are. You may now continue reading).
I mean, I love love love them, but they always seem to be creeping! The following lyrics are taken from various songs by them:
"For crying out loud, settle down! You know I can't be found with you".
"She's got a boyfriend anyway".
"Worrying about my brother finding out".
Find your own girls guys!!! But I'm sure they have. Seeing as they're practically world famous now. And amazing. Like seriously, uh-mayzzz-inggggg. But it's just an observation.
Also, speaking of music, who on earth is Ryan Lewis? I mean, I love Macklemore and his music is fab. But why is everything "Macklemore and Ryan Lewis"? I mean, where is he?? Where's his voice? I just wanna hear your voice Ryan! That's all. Show us your voice!!! =') And that would be perf =)
Oh! I have a new occupation now! Yeah, I'm a self proclaimed artist. You know why? Twitter. I mean think about it: getting my weirdo, rambling, messed up thoughts contained enough to write what I'm thinking in 140 characters? That's an art. So I'm an artist now. And if you wanna catch that flow, follow me on Twitter: @ditzypolkadot.
Or don't. I post too much. And I'm a little off the wall (haha get it? Off the wall? Off the Twitter wall? Oh dear...). See that? One perk of dating me is I laugh at my own jokes, so you don't have to. But I'm hilarious. So you will laugh.
Ok finally, thought for the day/week/month/year/lifetime:
It's a little mean. But it's me. I'm kinda like a bowl of popcorn. I'm overall really nice. Like, I am a nice person. Honestly. But if you do my head in, I might just throw you an unpopped kernel, sort of like a reality check? (Also, don't you think it's mega cool that uncooked popcorn things are called kernels and Mr KFC himself is also called The Colonel?? Isn't that just proof that they're two of the most amazing things to ever grace our world?)
Ohhhhh also! The World Cup 2014 starts tomorrow!!!!! Eeeeek!!!! Who are you guys rooting for?? You excited?! Because I am! But I think I contain it well ;)
***BUT (See the "***" and italics to show this is important? Like that touch? I do.) If any of you are thinking of buying me a gift any time between 12th June 2014 (tomorrow) and Sunday 13th July 2014, please buy me cider (preferably Stella or Henry Weston's) because I intend for this period of time to be a cider/football filled haze. Thanks in advance. I also accept vouchers for Tesco, Morrison's, Asda and Sainsbury's (yes, I like to live the high life sometimes)... So yeah...***
Anyway, my lunch is nearly over so I'm off. Hope you guys enjoy this post. It is pretty scattered but that's what my current thoughts are like at the moment haha.
Have a good day peeps!
Keep smiling, folks!
Ditzy xXx
If you wanna follow me on social media, that'd be great. And I'll love you like I do popcorn forever.
So I've been on a power binge! No, no not a power walk craze. Or anything to do with exercise. But I have been addicted to power ballads recently. And by power ballads, I mean by the likes of Whitney Houston. You know, the old soul, powerful, strong woman-y vibes she gives off? (Ok so I know I could have said feminine there buuuut that's too soft. And soft is not the sort of vibe Whitney gives out. She give woman-y, gumption infused sort of vibes).
So the reason I talk about strong women is because I am one. Haha just kidding. I mean, I think I am but you can't really self-profess yourself to be one can you? Only arrogant people do that. . . Oh wait? ;)
Ok so I was listening to two songs non stop the other day. They're old but they're pure classics. The two song were:
I Have Nothing
by
Whitney Houston
and
And I Am Telling You
by
Jennifer Hudson
Now, these might not seem like the typical love song. because when people think of love songs, they normally think of I Will Always Love You or something mushy like that, which is fine. But I actually love these songs so much because even though these two women are dependent on the man they are talking about/singing to, they are still strong, independent women. Sound contradictory? You should be used to that by now ;) But let me explain:
I Have Nothing by Whitney Houston
So this is my all time favourite Whitney song. What I love about it is even though she is asking this dude to stay with her, she doesn't lose her gumption. For example, the line:
Stay in my arms if you dare
She wants him to stay, but she can't help but challenge him with the 'if you dare' add on. We all know she didn't have to say that (ok so for rhyming reasons she did) but it reminds me of when you're young and stupid and you answer your mum back when she's having a go at you but it's so quiet that it comes out as a whispered mumble. But Whitney ain't scared. Oh no. Whitney, she gets angry.Because at the end of the song she goes and says it...:
Don't walk away from me, no.
Don't walk away from me
Don't you dare walk away from me
See? It's kinda like her being like:
*with shoe menacingly in hand* "Boy I told you I have nothing if you ain't here with me. So pack your things and stay loyally by my side. I'm not saying it again".
So yeah, that's that.
And I Am Telling You by Jennifer Hudson
So if you've seen Dreamgirls, you'll definitely know what I'm on about. Yeah, that song where Effie (played beautifully by JHud) finds out she preggers with that dudes baby. She's ditched by the band (because let's face it, she was hard work and hella scary) and so, as you do, she breaks into song. And it's an absolute wondrous belter!!!!!
I love this song so much. Like literally, it is amazing. Because even though she's in absolute despair, she still isn't begging. No, Effie don't beg, just like Joey doesn't share food. Listen:
And I am telling you
I'm not going
You're the best man I'll ever know
There's no way I could ever, ever go
No, no, no, no way
No, no, no, no way I'm living without you
Oh, I'm not living without you,
Not living without you
I don't wanna be free
I'm staying, I'm staying
And you, and you, and you
You're gonna love me
Yeah, you don't mess with Effie. Because she's staying. I absolutely love this!!!! She's desperate for this mans' love because she loves him so much. And she's not going anywhere. And he will love her.
So there's my take on those two songs. Don't get me wrong, I would never try and chase someone who wasn't interested in me for me, nor would I get with someone who wanted me to drastically change. But you've gotta admire this gumption right? They never beg. But they're telling. And just because they need somebody (don't sing Kings of Leon, don't.... you know that I could use somebodyyyy... aaah you can't not!). But yeah, just because they need somebody doesn't mean that they're not strong or independent.
So let's just have a moment to think of all them strong women out there. Mums, sisters, aunts, grandmas... because everyone has struggled (women and men but guys, this is about women so... yeah... sorry about that). And their struggle was and is real. And yet they fight.
So yeah, hope you've enjoyed this post! I know it's quite different from the usual and I'm not sure my guy readers will appreciate it as much but hey, you guys continue to surprise me so you never know! Oh and just a little announcement: I'm getting my Toad nails removed today ='( So a little moment of silence for them maybe?
Keep Smiling folks!
Ditzy xXx
If you wanna follow me on social media I'd appreciate it guys =)
Hey guys how are you? So I have 23 minutes to types out this post... And I have false nails on (gel tips if you're beauty inclined. I'm not. I still get nervous when people ask me about them because I'm worried I'll say it wrong. The long tips aren't mine the the under-nail is and I don't want to answer your nail related questions because I don't know enough about beauty so goodbye). But I decided to get Mario Related nails so I got Toad, the mushroom head, painted on and I love them! What do you think? They match my hella old phone case perfectly!
My phone case and my nails. Yeah... I really love all things N64 lol.
The only thing is, being diabetic, I have to do blood tests a lot. But everytime I do, it looks like I'm shooting Toad in the head. The fact that blood then splurges out doesn't help =/ Oooh but isn't 'splurge' such a fab word?!
I know, I really should have them removed now...
So, apologies for not writing sooner but I have been mega busy with work, coursework and other stuff. But I've been thinking a lot about words recently. I mean, my job involves a lot of written work that can't be copied, so everything I write for my job has to be completely original. So I figured I'd have to take on Eminem's sort of early days tactics and read a dictionary every night to learn new words and incorporate them into my writing at work. I've been in this job since February and I haven't picked up a dictionary, nor have I opened the dictionary app I got specially for starting this job. Great start, right?
But anyway, recently it came to my attention that my imagination plays a huge part in my idea of wordplay. You see, certain words reminds me of the weirdest things. I'm sure your mind does this too, so if it does, let me know in the comments below! (Oooh that rhymes!)
But here are some examples of the sort of thing I mean:
Glorious: If you've read my previous blogs, you'll know what I'm talking about but for you new readers (welcome!) here's the thought the word 'glorious' outs in my head. This is taken from my Septmeber 2013 post called 'Gloriouosness + Rainbows + Jelly +Sunshine = A Gloriously Happy Mix!'
"'Glorious' is now my new favourite word at the moment. It's just so. . .
glorious, isn't it? And it's also so terribly pretentious. Sort of
like, "Yes, I am glorious. I am the epitome of glorious. And I know it.
And I shall emanate gloriousness to everyone, everywhere. And I am also
made of strawberry jelly. Which is also glorious. Because I am
glorious.""
Chuffed: I don't use this word a lot but I've heard people say it. I do love it though because it reminds me of Cheerios (the breakfast cereal) wearing little furry jackets, happily jumping into a massive bowl of milk (and, unbeknownst to them, their death. But they're totally unaware of their impending milk macerated demise...)
Touché: I love this word! Like really love this word. It reminds me of a mix between the Monopoly Man and Poirot, tipping his hat whilst tweaking his mustache.
Poirot and Monopoly Dude. I suppose they're pretty similar really.
Chickweed: I discovered this word a while ago when I was texting someone. I was going to call them chicken but somehow auto-correct changed it to 'chickweed'. I liked it so I sent it anyway and now it's become a pet name for most of my close friends. But this reminds me of a little chick wrapped in weeds and nesting material to keep warm whilst eating my mums chickpea curry. Well, it's better than the alternative of a chick smoking a joint now isn't it? ;) Remember, pugs not drugs people!
Here is the imperfectly perf Russell Howard wearing a Pugs not Drugs tee... because he's perf
Serial Killer: A tad morbid but when I heard this phrase for the first time, I was about 5 and I remember thinking it was someone who used had such an aversion to the breakfast option that they used to go round various supermarkets putting a knife through boxes of cereal.
Nostalgic: Nostalgic or Nostalgia reminds me of pink and white nougat dipped in liquid gold. I don't quite know why but meh. But isn't there something glorious about the word? Also how do you say 'nougat'? Noo-gaah or nugget?
Anyway, this now brings me to the 'Nostalgic Nougat' bit of this post. I was just thinking about my grandma and grandad and how loved up they were. I mean, we're talking about a man and woman born in the 1920's who are both Indian through and through. And yet, they loved each other so much. For example, I remember being told that my grandad used to put fresh flowers in my grandmas hair every morning when they lived in India. He loved her so much and he wasn't afraid to show it, which was different for that generation. My grandad, he remember small details about their wedding day and the first day he met my grandma. I won't go into it all, but they really, honestly loved each other so very much and they weren't ruled by a stiff upper lip. That's something that I want.
So anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this post. Sorry again for all the delays and stuff but I'm trying to balance everything at the moment. Ohhh and last last thing, Jhené Aiko posted such an amazing quote on instagram the other day:
It's scary how accurately this describes me. I don't love to get anything back. I love for the sake of loving. Love is basically my life. People come and go, they heal and they hurt, they encourage and they break down, but my love. It lasts forever. It is always there.
Keep smiling folks!
Ditzy xXx
Follow me on social media if you want! Twitter: @ditzypolkadot Instagram: @ditzypolkadot Facebook: facebook.com/ditzypolkadot
Phew! What a mouthful that title is! How apt that I have a mouthful of couscous whilst writing this post hehe. Okay so I'm writing this post on my lunch break and I'm not gonna lie, that fills me with a slight buzz. I mean, I'm now busy enough to have to 'fit' this blog into my actually hectic life! Like, I don't have a minute to myself. And this makes me happy! Like SO happy! Because I am now busy 5 days a week at work and then weekends are filled with social activities with my amazing friends. I'm not bragging. You guys know how bad my social life has been in the past. But I now feel I'm finally living like a 19 year old should live. Earning in the week and then chilling with friends on the weekend. And it's bliss!
Though on the other end of the spectrum, I do have a spare weekend this weekend and I'm actually looking forward to sleeping in and doing absolutely nothing for two days straight. Oooh the excitement! Oh yeah, and on the subject of food, it might seem odd of me to leave out the details of my lunch. Well today I'm consuming an interesting mix of Sainsbury's Moroccan Couscous with Ritz Crackers. Yep, clearly living the high life peeps! Though Sainsubury's is an upgrade from Asda Value, truth be told, which is why I feel the need to type it in italic.
Oooh the title of this blog! Let me explain it! So the titles is a mish mash of three songs that I'm in love with at the moment:
Kathleen
by
Catfish and the Bottlemen
Addicted To You
by
Avicii
Hold On, We're Going Home
by
Drake
So yeah I've had a lot of rubbish go on recently with friends revealing their true colours (shiiiining through, I can see your truuuuue colours and that's why I loooove you. . . ) erm yeah, their true colours that weren't so pretty. The thing is, when you connect with a person so well and you consider them a good friend, it can be hard when you suddenly find yourself having to cut off cold from them. To be honest, I found it hard, as everything reminded me of said person. Let's call them Aardvark. I don't quite know why, but the old cartoon 'Arthur' came to mind just now, so let's roll with it.
So Aardvark was a person who I connected with really well. Aardvark made me laugh and we lived on the same wavelength and stuff. We just clicked, is all. But sadly, Aardvark decided to cut ties all of a sudden. I'll never completely know why from the Aardvark's mouth, but heyho, life goes on. Well the thing was, I used to talk to Aardvark so very much that everything reminded me of him/her. Certain songs, certain TV programmes, certain sports, certain words, even my favourite ever restaurant Nandos and that was annoying. It made me sad because I knew stupid Aardvark was never gonna be there to crack me up anymore. Wow! I make him sound like he's dead. Aardvark is very much alive and probably kicking somewhere.
But anyway, me being the weirdo, headstrong, stubborn chick that I am, I decided not to hide behind these songs and words and programmes. Ya know people tend to cut these things out of their life if they inflict upsetting memories. Well, I didn't want these to control me. I didn't wanna get a lump in my throat every time I heard/saw them. So I decided to tackle them head on. I listened to these tunes over and over, I watched the TV programmes continuously and I thought long and hard about everything. It was totes emo people. But I did it.
So now, after all that hurt, I can listen to these songs with a smile on my face. They don't make me sad. They remind me of how strong I actually am. I conquered. And I'm happy now =)
So whether you've similarly lost a friend like this, getting over heartbreak or whatever, try it. It's difficult, but you become sooooo strong after!!
We deserve better than second best, guys. When it comes to friends and even relationships, don't settle for second best. Why do that?
And don't cross oceans for someone who wouldn't cross a puddle for you.
Because oceans are meant to be crossed together. . .
And so to play on Drake's tune a bit, just hold on peeps, I'm moving onnnnn!
Oh oh oh!!! Last thing! Word of the day is: "Chickweed"!
I was texting a friend and was going to call him 'chicken' but my autocorrect changed it to 'chickweed'. I rolled with it though and now it's my favourite word at the moment. Use it and spread it people!
Keep Smiling, folks!
Ditzy xXx
Oooh follow me if fancy. Let's share the epicness people ;)
It's a horrible word. It isn't a nice sounding word that describes something awful. It actually sounds bad. It's just horrible all over.
People say that heartbreak happens to older people. It's not something that kids can feel, neither is it something that teens go through. I mean sure, teens may think they've been heartbroken, but they couldn't have been really. But ladies and gents, that view is wrong. So very wrong.
Toddlers, children, teens and adults feel heartbreak. Sure, it may be for different reasons. Obviously kids won't feel heartbreak due to a romantic relationship gone wrong. But abandonment, hate, neglect, shame. . . these are all things that can cause heartbreak. It's not all romanticised.
Some people go through heartache and everyone knows about it. An unfaithful partner, a break up, being neglected, being abandoned, being mistreated. Lot's of people can find out about it. They can offer help and support. But that doesn't always happens. The whole world could know about it but it doesn't mean that you'll get any help to get through it. You're left to fight through it, alone.
Then there are others. Others who go through the pain of heartache. And no one knows. No one ever finds out. No one ever will. That way no one can help. And you're left struggling, fighting this pain. Alone. You're breaking inside. And you want to literally tear your heart out because it just hurts. So much. You don't tell anyone. It's not because you don't trust them. You just don't want to reveal your weaknesses, your vulnerability, and the pure ridiculousness of it all. Because it's a stupid situation. You shouldn't be so hurt by it. It shouldn't affect you. But it does. And there is nothing you can do about it except ride it out and try to stop it from eating at you inside.
This happens way too much. Why do we give our hearts out to people who don't want it? Why does this always happen?
I'm sorry. I know this is a mega depressing post. But I can't help it. Like I said, writing is my therapy. Or maybe it's purely down to the fact that I have Beyonce's If I Were A Boy on repeat. You decide.
It's so important to keep in mind though, our reason to smile is just around the corner if we can't find it at present. Like for me, one day, I'll find that guy who completes me. The one that accepts my heart willingly. The one who makes me laugh until my insides hurt and then some. The one that shares my love of food. The one who accepts me for me, because let me tell you now, there's a lot of me to have to accept ;) Just the one who loves me as much as I love him. The one that makes me happier than anyone has ever been able to do before. Waiting is one of the hardest things though isn't it? Not knowing when it'll happen. But anyway, my time will come some day. I know it will.
But we get down right? Sometimes, someone or something can hurt us so bad and we have to suffer in silence for a bit. We will get through it but we can't be strong all the time.
All I'm saying is, sometimes, we just have to stop pretending. Because it's tiring.
Ditzy xXx
Oh and just a quick reminder, if you want to support me via social networks I am on Facebook and Instagram. Really appreciate it guys =)
Right, the last few blogs I've written have been all started with an apology for not writing a post in ages followed by a promise to write more regularly. So I thought, why break the trend?
So, dear readers I am soooooo sorry for not writing a single post recently! I have honestly been soooo busy with coursework, work, and other issues. But, alas, I am back and I'm back with a vengeance! I am determined, DETERMINED, to write at least one blog post a week. I have vowed to myself that I will. So I will. There. Done.
Ok, so granted, the title to this post is a little weird. You may have heard of some of these people. You may not. But anyway, these are the people I shall mention in the blog.
So let's start with Ben Howard! I went to see Ben Howard last night and it was breath taking. I am not even kidding. I will even go so far as to admit that I, Ditzy Polka Dot, was rendered speechless.
I really like Ben's music and so I was looking forward to the gig. I had high expectations too. I had read online that he wasn't great at interacting with the crowd but that didn't phase me too much. I was going for the music. Let me tell you now, those expectations were exceeded mahoosively!
His smile!!
The atmosphere was great and Ben interacted with us perfectly. He was funny, so humble, and just brilliant. We managed to get quite near the front which was brilliant. But his voice!
Ben Howard's voice has the ability to send shivers down your spine and make you feel like you're flying all at once. It's honestly euphoric. It was also pretty emotional. I saw a few people shed a tear or two with some of his songs. But then he he'd lift you up with a different one. He played a few of his new songs, which are amazing! I think I like them even better than his old stuff. The crowd was great too. Very upbeat, but not annoying.
The set was absolutely gorgeous! The lighting, the background, the smoke. Everything was so perfect. Ben's band were great too, but I can't remember their names! Sorry! He used at least 3 different guitars too but I'm sure there were loads more. I'm just not very observant when it comes to things like that. But he kept switching to different ones between songs.
Sam Fender was the supporting act for Ben Howard. Let me tell you, this man is amazing!!!! From the information I managed to glean, Sam is from Shields (?) he plays the guitar, and he has an amazing voice. That is all I could find. Literally. But all that matters is he honestly has a voice that makes you melt. Excuse the ridiculous cliché but there honestly is no other way to put it. His voice is beautiful, really husky, and just. . . awesome! It gave me goose bumps. And shivers. And I'm pretty sure it gave someone heart palpitations but I'm not sure. But anyway, he's brilliant. Definitely someone I want to see before he gets an even bigger following. So yeah people, look out for SAM FENDER!
I have uploaded a few videos of both Ben Howard and Sam Fender on YouTube. The link is at the bottom of this post. Let me know what you think!
So the next person I am going to mention is my mate Théo Speaks =) To be honest, I'm going to let the video below do the talking, because it is seriously impressive. Théo has been freestyling for a while but has just started to get back into it. I also happen to know that he's been on telly doing it which is rather exciting! Check it out people, it's unreal. Even if you're not into football/sport/exercise, this is seriously inspirational. And coming from me, that should mean even more! He'll be uploading videos once a week so subscribe! And if you're around Manchester/Liverpool, look out for him!
Right, The Apprentice is back on! Yayyyyyy!!!!!! Have you guys been enjoying it? I have! Though, is it just me or are the girls really bitchy this year? Like REALLY horrible. They actually terrify me. Wouldn't like to come across them in a dark ally. But anyway, I have three faves; Jason Leech, Myles Mordaunt, and Neil Clough.
Jason! He is brilliant! I love how scattered and 'in his own world' he is! Yeah, so, like everyone else, I was wondering what such a person was doing on such a sophisticated, intimidating show. But there must be something! He's a historian, for goodness sake! So I reckon he might surprise us all! I just LOVE this quote made by the Jasonator. . .
“Some people might come to this process with a game plan. I just feel my
effortless superiority will take me all the way.”
Go on Jase! Show them all how it's done!
So, Myles Mordaunt is another fave. Because he's beautiful. He's also 39. So it makes me feel a bit weird thinking he's beautiful. But hey, if it's on the screen I might as well appreciate the view! He's actually pretty good and very logical. I think he could go pretty far on the show.
Just to quote the man himself. . .
He says: “I’m business perfection personified.”
I think you're a lot of things perfection personified Myles ;) But that's just my humble opinion =P
Last but not least, Neil Clough! I've got to admit, I didn't really rate Neil at the beginning of the process, especially when he was PM. I thought he was a little too 'I know how to do this and I don't need anyone else's views, opinions, or anything on the matter'. And that attitude lost him the task. BUT on last weeks task ('the away day') where he gave his motivational speech, he really won me over. It was really sad about his dad passing away, but it was evident that he wasn't using this as a guilt trip or for a sympathy vote. He focused on how it made him determined to succeed. He also said that you need to have one drive in life. One focus. And that, ladies and gentlemen, really motivated me. So he's earned a newfound respect from me and various others who I've talked to on the matter.
According to his profile Neil is "a Manchester United supporter". Well, nobody's perfect! =P
So anyway, it's nice to see Lord Sugarlump back on our screens isn't it? Cocky and blunt as ever, and I love it! Can't wait for tonight's episode!!
Shaun T, if you don't know him, is a guy that has put together Insanity Workouts. He is famous for lots of things, but I know him through Insanity. People, I'd like you to put down whatever you're eating, make sure you're seated and ensure your breathing is steady. Because what I'm about to tell you will shock you to the core.
I have decided to start exercising.
Not just any exercise either. I've decided to start Insanity. These are highly intense workouts that you have to do for 40 minutes every day for 60 days. And when I say highly intense, I mean every word. The dude suggests you wear a HEART MONITOR! Yeah, I don't do things by halves =P
So the first day I did it was on Saturday, followed by a completely inspirationally (is that even a word?) healthy KFC Variety Meal. Ugh! WHEN will I say no to the stuff! But I am determined to lose weight, get fit, and just be healthy. So this is what I am endeavouring to do. Help! I will let you know of my progress. But if I don't write a blog post next week, it might be because I'm sat in a corner of my room, rocking back and forth, hugging myself, trying to find my happy place. Just a warning.
Ok last but not least. . . JON RICHARSON!!! Whoooooooop!!!!! Heard of him? I hope you have! Jon Richardson is one of my fave comedians EVER!!!! He's so awkward, such a loner, has such a cute smile and makes me laugh so much that I LOVE him!!! He also wears cardigans! *cough* chunky knit conundrum *cough* ;) If that's not a sign people, I don't know what is!
SO, I know this post has been pretty random and scattered (not unlike Jason Leech) but I hope you have enjoyed your read! I shall start writing shorter blogs a lot more regularly so please keep coming back! I really appreciate your views and feedback!
Keep Smeating Folks! (Remember, just smile and eat peeps, just smile and eat)
