DiaWHATtes?

So most of you already know that I have Type 1 Diabetes. I've had it for 13 and a half years (since I was 6 years old) and I've been an insulin pump user for 2 and a half years and my pumps name is Patrick Jr. (my first pump died after a year of having it and his name was Patrick). Anyway, the reason I bring all this up is because a recent news story caught my interest. It was about a model who wore her insulin pump on stage. And this made me happy. And because of that fact, I want to write about it.

The story is about 20 year old Idaho Beauty Queen, Sierra Sandison. She attracted even more attention because she chose to wear her insulin pump whilst modelling in her bikini on stage. Now, this has made me sooo happy, you don't even understand.

First of all, I've never been embarrassed of my pump. It took me 8 miserable years of injecting 4-8 times a day to finally get mine, so I'm proud to wear it. It's sort of a reminder to me of my long fought battle that I won in the end. But I do understand why some people don't want it on show. Some look at it as a constant reminder of their condition and some just don't want people to know about their diabetes. Which is fine. I've just never had that problem. But then again, I'm a person who's life is pretty much an open book and I understand not everyone is like that.

Anyway, Sierra was diagnosed when she was 18, so she's a diabetes newbie, if you like. But she decided that she would wear her pump. Because, why hide it? If you want to read the story, it can be found here. << See? I made it easy for you ;)

To be honest though, my take on the whole situation is this: what is the point in hiding the pump? You'll end up stressing yourself out by trying to hide it all the time. Beach trips will be a nightmare and you're essentially being ashamed of something that you've no reason to be ashamed of.

I understand how difficult life with Type 1 Diabetes can be though. I've had a lot of stick in the past because people think they know all about it. I used to be in hospital a lot before I got my insulin pump because I kept getting ketones and going into DKA (Diabetic Ketoacidosis) which is basically the #1 killer in Type 1 Diabetics. Ketones is basically acid in your blood that starts to eat away at your body fat. Or something like that. But I had people making the old snide comments like:

"Oooh well she does eat a lot of sweet stuff"

"Oh well she's never refused a biscuit when I've offered one to her"

"Ohhh well if she watched what she ate, maybe she wouldn't be in hospital so much"

"Oh well obviously it's because she eats absolute rubbish. I mean I saw her scoff a KFC the other day and that's why she keeps ending up in hospital"

Yeah, trust me, I've had it all. I've also had the common "helpful/curious suggestions/questions":

"Ooooh should you be eating that?"

"Well I don't have anything sugar free, will you be ok with this? It's got lots of sugar in it"

"Right, well, I would give you the box of chocolates but on second thought, I don't want you binging and ending up in hospital so here, have this small pack instead"

See? All this has got one thing in common. They all say "oh" a lot. Hehe just kidding. No but seriously, it's obvious: they're all diet related. See, because type 2 diabetes is so prevalent nowadays, people think that that's it. Type 1 and Type 2 are the same. But they're not. In fact, the only thing they have in common is that they're to do with insulin production. In fact they're so different that I strongly think that Type 1 Diabetes should be called something else and therefore putting a stop to stereotypes. 

I didn't get Type 1 Diabetes because I ate too many sweets, contrary to popular belief. I got it because my pancreas stopped producing insulin. The route cause of this is unknown but it could be down to genetics or a virus that I had when I was younger that messed my body up internally. I'll never be sure. But the fact of the matter remains; Type 1 Diabetes is nothing nothing nothing to do with diet.

The thing with type 2 is you have to watch what you eat. With type 1 you learn to count your carbs. This is so that you can count the carbohydrates that you eat and therefore give yourself enough insulin to break it down properly. This then maintains your blood sugar levels, provided you get your carb-to-insulin ratios right. This means that I can have a whole tub of ice cream if I wanted; provided I give myself enough insulin, my blood sugars will stay stable. (I've tried this and it worked). But obviously, just like a person without diabetes, you wouldn't do this all the time because it's unhealthy for anyone.

So to all you people who offer "friendly advice" such as questioning a Type 1 Diabetics choice of food, think first. Because there is honestly nothing more annoying. And it makes us want to punch you in the face whilst scoffing a bucket of KFC and washing it down with a McFlurry after (Ooooh KFC AND Maccy Dees in one sentence! How controversial!). Literally, nothing provokes me more.

This chica is nearly 48, diabetic and mum of 2!

Also, one last thing. Sierra Sandison should be an inspiration to all Type 1 Diabetics out there, because she definitely is to me. Don't use Type 1 Diabetes as an excuse for not being able to lose weight because it genuinely isn't a valid one. This disease shouldn't stop you from doing anything, because it's not like Type 2 Diabetes. You can have that killer body that you want because it won't stop you from achieving it. Only you can stop that. Through a steady healthy eating regime and light exercise, I've found myself having to shrink my jeans in the dryer just so that they fit! (That skint life tho... xD). 

And just ponder this fact for a second: The gorgeous being that is Halle Berry, is also Type 1 Diabetic. And she has a body that literally makes you die a little inside. So you cannot tell me that it's impossible to lose weight with Type 1 Diabetes. If you're on insulin, you can go on a low carb diet! I have and it's been amazing! Obviously, your body is your sculpture and your diabetes is your art to get right. So what works for me won't necessarily work for you. Consult your doc before making big changes. But don't ever use Type 1 Diabetes as an excuse.

So, be free and do what you want. Type 1 Diabetes is not a something to tie you down. It's just something we've been pinned with until they find a cure. Eat that ice cream, give your insulin and Z Snap anyone that asks you if you should be eating that.

The Music Corner

So seeing as I always seem to mention music in my posts, I've decided to do "The Music Corner". This new addition is going to be where I feature my favourite songs at the moment and skip to the good bit (Oh HELLO Rizzle Kicks reference!).

So today I'm gonna be talking about George Ezra. Look at his little face! This guy is honestly so amazing. I love his voice so much. It's so deep and powerful without going all "soul ballad-y". My favorite song by him is Blame It On Me. It's so beautiful and earthy. But obviously, he came to my attention for his song called Budapest.

I have one issue though Georgey.

It's just these lyrics:

My friends and family
They don't understand
They fear they'd lose so much
If you take my hand
But for you

I'd lose it all
 

Well George maybe that's the problem. Your family probably don't know this girl. And they know that if you went with her BAM! You'd leave them. That's what they don't understand. How could you leave them for some chick? Tell us that George. 

But other than that, it's a fab song. So check it out. I'd also recommend checking out his performance at Glastonbury because it was goosebumpily glorious (ooooh alliteration! How exciting!).

So anyway, that's all I have to say now! Hope you're enjoying the sun  as much as I am!

Keep smiling, folks!

Ditzy xXx

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Abandonment and Goodbyes: Diabetes, Sugar Cravings, Insulin Pumps, Sadness, Happiness, Weight Loss, Inspiration, Loneliness, Friendships. . .

Well hello there my beautiful cupcakes! How are you all? Scrumptious as ever I hope!

Apologies for the (nearly) one month gap since last writing a post! Things have been pretty hectic with doctors appointments and my (now on the rise) social life. . . Yes! I now have a social life! *SHOCK, HORROR, COMPLETE MORTIFICATION* ;)

So, Abandonment and Goodbyes. Such lovely topics of conversation for a Saturday evening, right? Well, this post won't be all doom and gloom, I promise.

So, since finding out about my kidneys, my docs have now tightened the reins on getting my blood sugar levels sorted, which is brilliant. My control is now fab but my craving's are not. Seriously, I have the ridiculous cravings that should come with pregnancy and I assure you, I'm not pregnant. In fact, I have the cravings of a woman expecting octuplets.

**NB: I'm not sure if the amount you crave depends on how many kids you're expecting. but for effect, let's pretend that the more proverbial 'buns' you have in the oven, the more literal buns you crave. You know the ones I'm talking about. The sweet pastry with the sugar icing dripping deliciously down the sides, crying out "Eat me, eat me. If you don't, I'll die a painful and undignified death by being chucked in the supermarket bins and then gnawed mercilessly on by rats". Yeah. . . them ones. **

So these cravings have been terrible. But I have refrained from binging on junk food. Apart from the occasional KFC (twice in three weeks. . . that's good for me!). The main thing that has motivated me to keep away from the unashamedly calorific isle in Asda is my brother. My brother has done amazingly recently! To me, he has always been the perfect example of how a man should be. People have their dad's to look at for that. I have my brother =)

But anyway, my brother has been dedicated to losing weight for the past couple of months. He wasn't big by any means but he wanting to lose some. And with a strict healthy eating regime and by going on power walks every day, my brother has lost 10.5lbs in two weeks!

Now, coming from a person who thought only a KFC at the end of a walk would make me actually go for a walk, it should mean a lot to you guys to find out that my brother has become my inspiration. Yes, my big brother, lovingly know to me as Shezzy/Shez/Shezalot/Shozes (wow, spellcheck is having a fit right now), has motivated and inspired me to go for more walks. He has been the one I've thought of when craving Aldi's Hazelnut Chocolate, Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream, Gregg's Glazed Ring Donughts, or even my beloved Coca Cola and Milk (Cilk/Moca Mola). He's the one that has inspired me to eat well and be more active.

So just a little note to say thank you Shezzy! And well done!!! You've done amazingly and I'm sooo proud of you. And I love you lots =)

Now, a slightly sombre part of this post is to follow that high note. Patrick aka Patrizio, my soul mate that was my insulin pump, has sadly passed away. Last night whilst doing a set change, he started to play up and after ringing the helpline, I was told that he would need to be replaced. I am currently in a state of mourning, people. Yes, I have grown unbelievably attached to an electronic medical device. I never thought I'd utter those words in my life and yet here I am, typing them out in black and white for the whole world to see. I am officially a freak.

But it is surprising how attached one can get to something so non-human. I mean, I've had this guy attached to my stomach for 19 months. He's stayed by my side all day and all night without fail. I've got annoyed with his beeping, I've appreciated his warnings and reminders, and I've even talked to him. I can't even call 'him' 'it', even though I know he's more an 'it' than a 'him'. Does that make sense? Probably not. Sorry.

So today the delivery man came to give me my new pumps and to take Patrick away. I actually hesitated giving him to the delivery guy. But I was strong. I did it. Patrick is gone but never forgotten. He will always be my main dude and my first pump. Now I have this other one sat on my bed and I need to give him a name. Though in all honesty, I love the name 'Patrick' so much that I might just call this new one Patrick Jr. In memory of old Patrizio.

Though, to be honest, I think I reacted with more emotion to this situation than was necessary due to the way I was feeling before. I felt lonely. One of my beautiful friends got married last weekend. he wedding was spectacular and the bride looked absolutely gorgeous. I am so happy for them, I literally cannot stop a smile from breaking out now while I think of them on their special day.

But weddings, as lovely as they are, are the perfect thing to highlight the fact that you're single. And I couldn't help but feel this loneliness since then. I just felt so alone, even amongst my amazing friends! It's all so annoying and confusing. SO here I was, feeling alone and depressed and BAM! Patrick dies on me. I mean, come on! Not even a computer can put up with me for that long ='(

But meh, I suppose it's just one of those things. When a relationship happens, it happens. I just have to try not to mope about not being in one in the meantime.

So on that joy of a note, I shall say goodbye. I need to get ready to go and chill with one of my amazing girlies. Malibu and coke. . . here I come ;)

Oh and just a quick note to say thank you everyone!!! I have hit over 1,000 pageviews and that's all because of you beautiful people! I cannot express how much it builds my confidence and fills me with joy that I have people interested in my random ramblings! So thank you, thank you, thank you! You guys are amazing!!!

Keep smiling folks!

Ditzy xXx

I Am Me. . . Not The Girl With Diabetes

Hello cupcakes! How are you all?

We have many reasons to celebrate today! The sun is out, the sky is clear, and we're alive. Yep. We are alive.

Those of you who don't me personally don't know this, but I have Type 1 Diabetes. I have had it for 12 and a half years now and, I'm not going to lie, at times it has wrecked my life. But I now have an Insulin Pump called Patrick. I decided that since the pump would be my life partner for the rest of my life, he needed a name. So I graced him with the name 'Patrick', kind of named after Patrick Star from SpongeBob. But I call him Patrizio when I'm feeling posh and/or Italian. He's been amazing in keeping my blood sugars under control. And to be honest, it beats injecting 4-8 times a day! No more bruises!

Just so you know, Type 1 Diabetes is completely different to Type 2. Whereas Type 2 is diet and obesity related, Type 1 is not. It is to do with a virus and genetics. There's nothing you can do to prevent it or cure it. Anyway, I've had Patrick for 18 months now and things were going perfectly. Then I had a bad blip, and now things are back to normal again and seem to be going smoothly.

However, I received some pretty startling news last Thursday when I went to see my Diabetes Consultant. My kidneys are leaking. So I seem to have the onset of Diabetic Nephropathy (or Kidney Disease). I won't know for sure how far along I am until my test results come back. However, this pretty much made my world come crashing down for a few days. Wow, how deep does that sound?! But it's how I felt, truth be told.

So I wallowed in the fact that 'leaky kidneys' was yet another thing to add to the list of things wrong with me. I felt sorry for myself and cried lots. And I was such a miserable person, which is very unlike me. But then realisation struck. . .

I am alive. I have access to medical care that isn't available to many people in other countries. I have a good, supportive family and amazing friends. My heart is still beating. What I have isn't terminal. I don't have Cancer. I don't have anything even close to that! I'm young. And I'm going to fight this 'til the end.

Don't get me wrong, I needed to wallow in my issues for a while. I needed to be treated delicately and I needed to feel sorry for myself for a few days. But that's it. That's all I really needed to do to snap back out of it. Us humans, we moan about so much. We worry about things that aren't even worth worrying about. We think our problems are the worst in the world. How wrong we are though.

There is always, always, someone going through so much worse than we are. I don't find that thought comforting at all. But it makes me look at my own issues in a different light and it helps me to put my own issues into perspective.

So even though I thought I was getting better but I'm evidently not, I'm not going to let this affect me too much. I mean, I'm going to try and live a healthier lifestyle which is beneficial regardless. But I'm not going to let this mess with my head too much. Whatever happens, happens. As long as I am surrounded by the people I love and cherish and am made to laugh more than I could possibly handle, well, I'll be happy =)

This brings me to the reason behind the title for this post. I want all my friends to know who I am. I want to be known for my personality: my weirdness, craziness, utter hilariousness ;) and just the girl who gets so excited over stupid things (sometimes I don't even know why I'm excited. Think of the whole "I'm so excited! Are you excited? Because I'm soooooo excited but I don't know why!" scenario). And the girl who talks so much that she actually gets out of breath. I kid you not. It's happened on numerous occasions. Especially when it comes to meeting people I don't know. I have two extremes; either I go mute or I talk wayyyy too much.

But anyway, I digress again. So I want to be known for all that. I don't want to be known as the girl with diabetes, bad health, ketones(!), kidney issues, and the like. Because that's not me. Its just stuff that's been pinned on me involuntarily.

So there. I feel better now I've got that off my chest. It's amazing how much writing can help clear your head.

Anyway, I hope you've kind of enjoyed this post. I apologise profusely for the intense 'emo' undertones. But yeah, have a good day people! Hope you're enjoying the sun as much as I am!!

Keep smiling folks!

Ditzy xXx