C'est La Vie to Carp Diem

I'm eating a salad. Yep. A salad. With no carbs. And no junk. Just a teeny tiny bit of ham, olives and about half an iceberg lettuce today because I refuse to go hungry. Everyone's out of the office right now on their lunch and let me tell you now, I'm glad. No, not because I dislike my work colleagues. They're great. But oh my word, try eating a salad gracefully and it will be the hardest thing you've ever had to do.

Now I'm not sure if I'm just going about it the wrong way, but I seem to get bits of lettuce everywhere that have escaped the fork or have spontaneously decided to jump out of the box. Also, I eat fast and ugh, I don't know. I think I'm just greedy to be honest. No I don't think. I know. Because I typed that out with four lettuce pieces hanging out my mouth. I know, I am etiquette and femininity epitomized. You may be seated. I mean, one wonders why one is still single. Can you not see the charm? ;)

Anyway, someone told me I should write a book the other day after reading my blog. I laughed in their face for a full 10 minutes. It was one of them things where you stop laughing, then you look at the person's deadpan face and laugh again. Me? Write a book? Turns out they were deadly serious and they didn't seem to appreciate the funny side, which is weird seeing as they enjoy this blog and we all know, this blog is hilar.

You know, I make myself laugh so much that sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I wasn't me. Just so that I could experience the utter joy it is to have me as friend. It'd be constant laughs and wit. Aaaaah... what it would be like to have me as a friend =')

So yeah, back to the book writing. I've been thinking about it now, I'm not gonna lie. A couple of people have said it to me over the past year or so and I don't know. Maybe I should. I mean, you don't have to be a genius to write a book right? I'm not sure exactly how to go about it and I don't even know where to even start when it comes to what to write about, but it's something to think about.

The thing is, I want to do something with my life. I don't want to be famous or anything, but I do love writing and so I'd love to have my own column somewhere or something. I mean, I write for a living, so I can't be too bad can I? And you're reading this so ha! You must agree ;)

Before, I kind of had this outlook that this is it. This is my life. Working 9 til 5 (what a way to make a living, sing it with me guys!)  with leaky kidneys, ME/CFS, type 1 diabetes and only Patrick my insulin pump to call my man. C'est la vie.

But no! This isn't life! Life is what you make it and so I'm gonna make a life that I love! They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but I'm saying life is in the hands of the beholder! No, that doesn't work but you catch my drift right?

So don't live your life saying c'est la vie (even though it is pretty fun to say). Change that outlook and say carpe diem. 

I'm still unsure of how to say that. Is it car-pay dee-em? Or carp dime? Or carpee deem?

And if you don't know how to say it, even go so far as to be annoying enough to say YOLO. Whatever works for you. But just grab life by the horns and steer it in the direction that you want it to go. Because that's the only way to make a change. Ambition is the key to success. I just made that up. Wow, maybe I should be a philosopher. Scrap the book ;)

Anyway, if anyone has any tips or advice, that'd be great. Again, this is just a passing thought and I might never do it but you never know!

I've finished my salad now. I'm not full. Ugh! And also, I've used a lot of italics (oooh there you go again) in this post. You're welcome.

Keep smiling folks!

Ditzy xXx

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Dogs and Cake. . . And Serious Ramblings. . .

Hiya my lil muffins! How are you all on this glorious Friday morning? Most of you are probably at work. Or if you're like me, you're sat on the sofa with laptop on your lap (how convenient), a half drunk cup of tea on the side,  F.R.I.E.N.D.S on on tv in the background (which you're not actually watching. You just have it on as background noise to make you feel less lonely. Also, the familiar voices of the cast and the uncanned laughter of the audience makes you feel nostalgic and comforted... am I right?), and you probably have the remains of last nights make up on your face. Dried up mascara flakes under your eyes, eye liner faintly smeared down your cheek, eyeshadow clinging to your eyelids for dear life, and lip gloss that you've just applied to stop your lips from feeling so dry. And while applying that lip gloss you told yourself that if you had taken the make up off before going to bed last night and put on the appropriate 'night skincare moisturiser range' that you paid extra for in the shop when you only went in to buy day moisturiser, then you wouldn't have dry lips in the first place. Or is this all just my lazy morning ritual that I never actually learn from and/or change?

So yeah, regardless, you're reading this blog. And thanks for giving my blog the time of day. It is hugely appreciated!!! I cannot express that enough.

I am actually on holiday at the moment. Not abroad but I've come to visit my family which has been fab. Just the getaway I needed! I currently have two dogs keeping me company... a Dogue de Bordeaux and a Yorkie. Seriously, the cutest dogs ever. But then again, I'm biased. I look at these pups as my niece and nephew. Because, yes, I have become that crazy woman who buys hair bows for her sister's dogs and talks to them whilst alone in the house. Or sometimes when I'm surrounded by people. I seriously think dogs hold a better conversation than some people. Is that bad? And yes I'm aware dogs don't talk back. But isn't that the beauty of it? And no, I'm not saying they are better to talk to than my family, because my family are great. I'm talking about people in general. We all know at least one person where we'd cross the street/pretend we didn't notice them/hide in a shop just to avoid talking to them.

Anyways, these dogs have been amazing. They've been loyal, they've followed me around the house, they've given me a warm slobbery welcome every morning and they even wait outside for me when I go to the toilet. Yes, these lil cuties have become my lil babies over this past week and I shall miss them intensely when I get back home =(

Oh! The Great British Bake Off is back!! And I have to admit, it's nice to see a bit of old Hollywood on our screens. And when I say 'old Hollywood', I don't mean the movies ;)

So, in all honesty, nobody has really stood out to me yet. I didn't feel an instant like or connection with any of the contestants, but I shall give it time. That's not to say the bakes weren't fab though! Serious admiration for these people! And I was wondering, what do they do with all the cakes? I mean, obviously they wouldn't just bin them because that would just be disgusting with all the poverty around the world. But it's simply too much cake for the Bake Off team/contestants isn't it? So I wonder if they give it away to the public. If so, anyone fancy telling me where? Because I'd definitely be there! So yeah, I look forward to next weeks episode. How very exciting my Tuesday nights have become!

Oh also, I have jumped the 'job hunting' bandwagon! So I'm currently looking for a job, which is rather exciting I must say. Maybe I'm just suffering from 'early job hunting excitement syndrome' and perhaps the pure disappointment of it all will kick in, but at the moment I'm buzzing from it all. *warning* this tone may change completely by my next post so be prepared!

So, I'd better finish off my ramblings and start on some non-productive nonsense. The Daily Mail won't read itself ;) Also, my sister treated me to get my nails done and typing is surprisingly hard to do with long nails. . .

Keep smiling folks!

Ditzy xXx

Abandonment and Goodbyes: Diabetes, Sugar Cravings, Insulin Pumps, Sadness, Happiness, Weight Loss, Inspiration, Loneliness, Friendships. . .

Well hello there my beautiful cupcakes! How are you all? Scrumptious as ever I hope!

Apologies for the (nearly) one month gap since last writing a post! Things have been pretty hectic with doctors appointments and my (now on the rise) social life. . . Yes! I now have a social life! *SHOCK, HORROR, COMPLETE MORTIFICATION* ;)

So, Abandonment and Goodbyes. Such lovely topics of conversation for a Saturday evening, right? Well, this post won't be all doom and gloom, I promise.

So, since finding out about my kidneys, my docs have now tightened the reins on getting my blood sugar levels sorted, which is brilliant. My control is now fab but my craving's are not. Seriously, I have the ridiculous cravings that should come with pregnancy and I assure you, I'm not pregnant. In fact, I have the cravings of a woman expecting octuplets.

**NB: I'm not sure if the amount you crave depends on how many kids you're expecting. but for effect, let's pretend that the more proverbial 'buns' you have in the oven, the more literal buns you crave. You know the ones I'm talking about. The sweet pastry with the sugar icing dripping deliciously down the sides, crying out "Eat me, eat me. If you don't, I'll die a painful and undignified death by being chucked in the supermarket bins and then gnawed mercilessly on by rats". Yeah. . . them ones. **

So these cravings have been terrible. But I have refrained from binging on junk food. Apart from the occasional KFC (twice in three weeks. . . that's good for me!). The main thing that has motivated me to keep away from the unashamedly calorific isle in Asda is my brother. My brother has done amazingly recently! To me, he has always been the perfect example of how a man should be. People have their dad's to look at for that. I have my brother =)

But anyway, my brother has been dedicated to losing weight for the past couple of months. He wasn't big by any means but he wanting to lose some. And with a strict healthy eating regime and by going on power walks every day, my brother has lost 10.5lbs in two weeks!

Now, coming from a person who thought only a KFC at the end of a walk would make me actually go for a walk, it should mean a lot to you guys to find out that my brother has become my inspiration. Yes, my big brother, lovingly know to me as Shezzy/Shez/Shezalot/Shozes (wow, spellcheck is having a fit right now), has motivated and inspired me to go for more walks. He has been the one I've thought of when craving Aldi's Hazelnut Chocolate, Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream, Gregg's Glazed Ring Donughts, or even my beloved Coca Cola and Milk (Cilk/Moca Mola). He's the one that has inspired me to eat well and be more active.

So just a little note to say thank you Shezzy! And well done!!! You've done amazingly and I'm sooo proud of you. And I love you lots =)

Now, a slightly sombre part of this post is to follow that high note. Patrick aka Patrizio, my soul mate that was my insulin pump, has sadly passed away. Last night whilst doing a set change, he started to play up and after ringing the helpline, I was told that he would need to be replaced. I am currently in a state of mourning, people. Yes, I have grown unbelievably attached to an electronic medical device. I never thought I'd utter those words in my life and yet here I am, typing them out in black and white for the whole world to see. I am officially a freak.

But it is surprising how attached one can get to something so non-human. I mean, I've had this guy attached to my stomach for 19 months. He's stayed by my side all day and all night without fail. I've got annoyed with his beeping, I've appreciated his warnings and reminders, and I've even talked to him. I can't even call 'him' 'it', even though I know he's more an 'it' than a 'him'. Does that make sense? Probably not. Sorry.

So today the delivery man came to give me my new pumps and to take Patrick away. I actually hesitated giving him to the delivery guy. But I was strong. I did it. Patrick is gone but never forgotten. He will always be my main dude and my first pump. Now I have this other one sat on my bed and I need to give him a name. Though in all honesty, I love the name 'Patrick' so much that I might just call this new one Patrick Jr. In memory of old Patrizio.

Though, to be honest, I think I reacted with more emotion to this situation than was necessary due to the way I was feeling before. I felt lonely. One of my beautiful friends got married last weekend. he wedding was spectacular and the bride looked absolutely gorgeous. I am so happy for them, I literally cannot stop a smile from breaking out now while I think of them on their special day.

But weddings, as lovely as they are, are the perfect thing to highlight the fact that you're single. And I couldn't help but feel this loneliness since then. I just felt so alone, even amongst my amazing friends! It's all so annoying and confusing. SO here I was, feeling alone and depressed and BAM! Patrick dies on me. I mean, come on! Not even a computer can put up with me for that long ='(

But meh, I suppose it's just one of those things. When a relationship happens, it happens. I just have to try not to mope about not being in one in the meantime.

So on that joy of a note, I shall say goodbye. I need to get ready to go and chill with one of my amazing girlies. Malibu and coke. . . here I come ;)

Oh and just a quick note to say thank you everyone!!! I have hit over 1,000 pageviews and that's all because of you beautiful people! I cannot express how much it builds my confidence and fills me with joy that I have people interested in my random ramblings! So thank you, thank you, thank you! You guys are amazing!!!

Keep smiling folks!

Ditzy xXx

Friends, Firings, Fabulous Finds and Fantastic Matches

Hello guys! Hope you're all good!

So this past week has been mad! But in a good way. I was able to catch up with lots of friends who I hadn't seen in quite some time which was brilliant. Totes emotes that the weekend is over though, because I miss them all already! You all know who you are, my beautiful cupcakes! So the weekend was full of love, laughs, learning, and just pure amazing-ness!

Slightly sad news. . . Myles Mordaunt was fired from The Apprentice last week *sob sob*. Yes, the eye candy that was the Silver Surfer himself was let go from the show after, quite frankly, a shocking performance as Project Manager. I'm not normally so harsh. But it was actually really unnerving to see such a calm and collected man so. . . uncalm and uncollected. Also, I'm well aware that 'uncalm' isn't a word, but let's just ignore the angry red lines underneath it and stick with it.

But ever the gentleman, Myles held his own through the rollicking in the boardroom and accepted full responsibility. Also, when being interviewed on 'You're Fired', he didn't have a bad word to say about anyone. . . *sigh*. . . SUCH a gentleman =') But I do wish him all the very best in the future. He seems to be the perfect businessman but in his own area of expertise. So all the best! (Though I know Myles doesn't need my best wishes. He has his own website! Yes, when I say accomplished, I mean accomplished!)

http://mylesmordaunt.com/about  << See!!!

My latest Fabulous Finds include Gabrielle Aplin, who I love at the moment! I'm hoping to go and see her live soon! I actually have her album 'English Rain' playing in the background. It's so beautiful. Seriously. Really, really soothing. My fave song is Home, without a doubt. It's just perfect. The vocals, the lyrics, the tone. I love everything about it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mVbdjec0pA

Also, does anyone remember an old Garage tune called Sweet Like Chocolate by Shanks & Bigfoot (and vocals by Sharon Woolf, NOT Kylie Minogue, as someone once thought. . . If you're reading this, you know who you are =P).

Well, I found a revamp of the song by MNEK, an up and coming singer who is uh-mazing! Seriously check him out if you haven't heard him before, but I'm sure you probably have heard some of his stuff. He collaborated with the likes of Rudimental and Disclosure (both of whom I love!!!!!). But seriously, if you remember the song, check this out. He hasn't spoiled it or taken anything away. He's incorporated it into his own thing and I love love love it!!! Oh and it's called Sweet Fantasy =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lswVZ9XOm58

And here is the original track by Shanks & Bigfoot. . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHFFol-8REI

It's funny, that was the first ever single I bought as a kid. I listened to it all the time and even made up a dance routine to it haha. It's so good to hear it back again! Aww sweet memories! Even though stuff was messed up, I was completely unaware of the extent of it all. And that ignorance was indeed bliss.

So those have been my Fab Finds of the week.

Last but definitely not least is WIMBLEDON!!!! Have you guys been into it at all? I have. Massively. And I'd like to congratulate the amazing Andy Murray for winning the Men's Finals vs. Novak Djokovic. The first Brit to win Wimbledon in 77 years!!! What an amazing victory!

Kudos to Djokovic though. He fought hard 'til the end and made Andy work hard for the win! It was an uphill battle but our Andy did it. Well done!!!!

Oh and one last thing. A quick thank you to Sam Fender because he read my blog (I posted the link to it on his Facebook and he commented on it!). It means so much to me to have people read this or just have a gander. And he also interacts with his fans, which is so different from many other people rising to fame. So thanks Sam! =D

Ok cupcakes! I hope you've enjoyed reading this! Have a fabulous day in this fabulous weather! Let's hope the sun is here to stay for a while. And in the words of Labrinth. . .

"Let the sun shine, let the sun shine, baby, let it all go, just let it all go"

Yep. No matter what your age, gender, ethnicity, status, or disposition, stay young at heart, happy, and carefree. Let the sun shine, let it all go, and enjoy life!

Ditzy xXx