DiaWHATtes?

So most of you already know that I have Type 1 Diabetes. I've had it for 13 and a half years (since I was 6 years old) and I've been an insulin pump user for 2 and a half years and my pumps name is Patrick Jr. (my first pump died after a year of having it and his name was Patrick). Anyway, the reason I bring all this up is because a recent news story caught my interest. It was about a model who wore her insulin pump on stage. And this made me happy. And because of that fact, I want to write about it.

The story is about 20 year old Idaho Beauty Queen, Sierra Sandison. She attracted even more attention because she chose to wear her insulin pump whilst modelling in her bikini on stage. Now, this has made me sooo happy, you don't even understand.

First of all, I've never been embarrassed of my pump. It took me 8 miserable years of injecting 4-8 times a day to finally get mine, so I'm proud to wear it. It's sort of a reminder to me of my long fought battle that I won in the end. But I do understand why some people don't want it on show. Some look at it as a constant reminder of their condition and some just don't want people to know about their diabetes. Which is fine. I've just never had that problem. But then again, I'm a person who's life is pretty much an open book and I understand not everyone is like that.

Anyway, Sierra was diagnosed when she was 18, so she's a diabetes newbie, if you like. But she decided that she would wear her pump. Because, why hide it? If you want to read the story, it can be found here. << See? I made it easy for you ;)

To be honest though, my take on the whole situation is this: what is the point in hiding the pump? You'll end up stressing yourself out by trying to hide it all the time. Beach trips will be a nightmare and you're essentially being ashamed of something that you've no reason to be ashamed of.

I understand how difficult life with Type 1 Diabetes can be though. I've had a lot of stick in the past because people think they know all about it. I used to be in hospital a lot before I got my insulin pump because I kept getting ketones and going into DKA (Diabetic Ketoacidosis) which is basically the #1 killer in Type 1 Diabetics. Ketones is basically acid in your blood that starts to eat away at your body fat. Or something like that. But I had people making the old snide comments like:

"Oooh well she does eat a lot of sweet stuff"

"Oh well she's never refused a biscuit when I've offered one to her"

"Ohhh well if she watched what she ate, maybe she wouldn't be in hospital so much"

"Oh well obviously it's because she eats absolute rubbish. I mean I saw her scoff a KFC the other day and that's why she keeps ending up in hospital"

Yeah, trust me, I've had it all. I've also had the common "helpful/curious suggestions/questions":

"Ooooh should you be eating that?"

"Well I don't have anything sugar free, will you be ok with this? It's got lots of sugar in it"

"Right, well, I would give you the box of chocolates but on second thought, I don't want you binging and ending up in hospital so here, have this small pack instead"

See? All this has got one thing in common. They all say "oh" a lot. Hehe just kidding. No but seriously, it's obvious: they're all diet related. See, because type 2 diabetes is so prevalent nowadays, people think that that's it. Type 1 and Type 2 are the same. But they're not. In fact, the only thing they have in common is that they're to do with insulin production. In fact they're so different that I strongly think that Type 1 Diabetes should be called something else and therefore putting a stop to stereotypes. 

I didn't get Type 1 Diabetes because I ate too many sweets, contrary to popular belief. I got it because my pancreas stopped producing insulin. The route cause of this is unknown but it could be down to genetics or a virus that I had when I was younger that messed my body up internally. I'll never be sure. But the fact of the matter remains; Type 1 Diabetes is nothing nothing nothing to do with diet.

The thing with type 2 is you have to watch what you eat. With type 1 you learn to count your carbs. This is so that you can count the carbohydrates that you eat and therefore give yourself enough insulin to break it down properly. This then maintains your blood sugar levels, provided you get your carb-to-insulin ratios right. This means that I can have a whole tub of ice cream if I wanted; provided I give myself enough insulin, my blood sugars will stay stable. (I've tried this and it worked). But obviously, just like a person without diabetes, you wouldn't do this all the time because it's unhealthy for anyone.

So to all you people who offer "friendly advice" such as questioning a Type 1 Diabetics choice of food, think first. Because there is honestly nothing more annoying. And it makes us want to punch you in the face whilst scoffing a bucket of KFC and washing it down with a McFlurry after (Ooooh KFC AND Maccy Dees in one sentence! How controversial!). Literally, nothing provokes me more.

This chica is nearly 48, diabetic and mum of 2!

Also, one last thing. Sierra Sandison should be an inspiration to all Type 1 Diabetics out there, because she definitely is to me. Don't use Type 1 Diabetes as an excuse for not being able to lose weight because it genuinely isn't a valid one. This disease shouldn't stop you from doing anything, because it's not like Type 2 Diabetes. You can have that killer body that you want because it won't stop you from achieving it. Only you can stop that. Through a steady healthy eating regime and light exercise, I've found myself having to shrink my jeans in the dryer just so that they fit! (That skint life tho... xD). 

And just ponder this fact for a second: The gorgeous being that is Halle Berry, is also Type 1 Diabetic. And she has a body that literally makes you die a little inside. So you cannot tell me that it's impossible to lose weight with Type 1 Diabetes. If you're on insulin, you can go on a low carb diet! I have and it's been amazing! Obviously, your body is your sculpture and your diabetes is your art to get right. So what works for me won't necessarily work for you. Consult your doc before making big changes. But don't ever use Type 1 Diabetes as an excuse.

So, be free and do what you want. Type 1 Diabetes is not a something to tie you down. It's just something we've been pinned with until they find a cure. Eat that ice cream, give your insulin and Z Snap anyone that asks you if you should be eating that.

The Music Corner

So seeing as I always seem to mention music in my posts, I've decided to do "The Music Corner". This new addition is going to be where I feature my favourite songs at the moment and skip to the good bit (Oh HELLO Rizzle Kicks reference!).

So today I'm gonna be talking about George Ezra. Look at his little face! This guy is honestly so amazing. I love his voice so much. It's so deep and powerful without going all "soul ballad-y". My favorite song by him is Blame It On Me. It's so beautiful and earthy. But obviously, he came to my attention for his song called Budapest.

I have one issue though Georgey.

It's just these lyrics:

My friends and family
They don't understand
They fear they'd lose so much
If you take my hand
But for you

I'd lose it all
 

Well George maybe that's the problem. Your family probably don't know this girl. And they know that if you went with her BAM! You'd leave them. That's what they don't understand. How could you leave them for some chick? Tell us that George. 

But other than that, it's a fab song. So check it out. I'd also recommend checking out his performance at Glastonbury because it was goosebumpily glorious (ooooh alliteration! How exciting!).

So anyway, that's all I have to say now! Hope you're enjoying the sun  as much as I am!

Keep smiling, folks!

Ditzy xXx

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C'est La Vie to Carp Diem

I'm eating a salad. Yep. A salad. With no carbs. And no junk. Just a teeny tiny bit of ham, olives and about half an iceberg lettuce today because I refuse to go hungry. Everyone's out of the office right now on their lunch and let me tell you now, I'm glad. No, not because I dislike my work colleagues. They're great. But oh my word, try eating a salad gracefully and it will be the hardest thing you've ever had to do.

Now I'm not sure if I'm just going about it the wrong way, but I seem to get bits of lettuce everywhere that have escaped the fork or have spontaneously decided to jump out of the box. Also, I eat fast and ugh, I don't know. I think I'm just greedy to be honest. No I don't think. I know. Because I typed that out with four lettuce pieces hanging out my mouth. I know, I am etiquette and femininity epitomized. You may be seated. I mean, one wonders why one is still single. Can you not see the charm? ;)

Anyway, someone told me I should write a book the other day after reading my blog. I laughed in their face for a full 10 minutes. It was one of them things where you stop laughing, then you look at the person's deadpan face and laugh again. Me? Write a book? Turns out they were deadly serious and they didn't seem to appreciate the funny side, which is weird seeing as they enjoy this blog and we all know, this blog is hilar.

You know, I make myself laugh so much that sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I wasn't me. Just so that I could experience the utter joy it is to have me as friend. It'd be constant laughs and wit. Aaaaah... what it would be like to have me as a friend =')

So yeah, back to the book writing. I've been thinking about it now, I'm not gonna lie. A couple of people have said it to me over the past year or so and I don't know. Maybe I should. I mean, you don't have to be a genius to write a book right? I'm not sure exactly how to go about it and I don't even know where to even start when it comes to what to write about, but it's something to think about.

The thing is, I want to do something with my life. I don't want to be famous or anything, but I do love writing and so I'd love to have my own column somewhere or something. I mean, I write for a living, so I can't be too bad can I? And you're reading this so ha! You must agree ;)

Before, I kind of had this outlook that this is it. This is my life. Working 9 til 5 (what a way to make a living, sing it with me guys!)  with leaky kidneys, ME/CFS, type 1 diabetes and only Patrick my insulin pump to call my man. C'est la vie.

But no! This isn't life! Life is what you make it and so I'm gonna make a life that I love! They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but I'm saying life is in the hands of the beholder! No, that doesn't work but you catch my drift right?

So don't live your life saying c'est la vie (even though it is pretty fun to say). Change that outlook and say carpe diem. 

I'm still unsure of how to say that. Is it car-pay dee-em? Or carp dime? Or carpee deem?

And if you don't know how to say it, even go so far as to be annoying enough to say YOLO. Whatever works for you. But just grab life by the horns and steer it in the direction that you want it to go. Because that's the only way to make a change. Ambition is the key to success. I just made that up. Wow, maybe I should be a philosopher. Scrap the book ;)

Anyway, if anyone has any tips or advice, that'd be great. Again, this is just a passing thought and I might never do it but you never know!

I've finished my salad now. I'm not full. Ugh! And also, I've used a lot of italics (oooh there you go again) in this post. You're welcome.

Keep smiling folks!

Ditzy xXx

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Abandonment and Goodbyes: Diabetes, Sugar Cravings, Insulin Pumps, Sadness, Happiness, Weight Loss, Inspiration, Loneliness, Friendships. . .

Well hello there my beautiful cupcakes! How are you all? Scrumptious as ever I hope!

Apologies for the (nearly) one month gap since last writing a post! Things have been pretty hectic with doctors appointments and my (now on the rise) social life. . . Yes! I now have a social life! *SHOCK, HORROR, COMPLETE MORTIFICATION* ;)

So, Abandonment and Goodbyes. Such lovely topics of conversation for a Saturday evening, right? Well, this post won't be all doom and gloom, I promise.

So, since finding out about my kidneys, my docs have now tightened the reins on getting my blood sugar levels sorted, which is brilliant. My control is now fab but my craving's are not. Seriously, I have the ridiculous cravings that should come with pregnancy and I assure you, I'm not pregnant. In fact, I have the cravings of a woman expecting octuplets.

**NB: I'm not sure if the amount you crave depends on how many kids you're expecting. but for effect, let's pretend that the more proverbial 'buns' you have in the oven, the more literal buns you crave. You know the ones I'm talking about. The sweet pastry with the sugar icing dripping deliciously down the sides, crying out "Eat me, eat me. If you don't, I'll die a painful and undignified death by being chucked in the supermarket bins and then gnawed mercilessly on by rats". Yeah. . . them ones. **

So these cravings have been terrible. But I have refrained from binging on junk food. Apart from the occasional KFC (twice in three weeks. . . that's good for me!). The main thing that has motivated me to keep away from the unashamedly calorific isle in Asda is my brother. My brother has done amazingly recently! To me, he has always been the perfect example of how a man should be. People have their dad's to look at for that. I have my brother =)

But anyway, my brother has been dedicated to losing weight for the past couple of months. He wasn't big by any means but he wanting to lose some. And with a strict healthy eating regime and by going on power walks every day, my brother has lost 10.5lbs in two weeks!

Now, coming from a person who thought only a KFC at the end of a walk would make me actually go for a walk, it should mean a lot to you guys to find out that my brother has become my inspiration. Yes, my big brother, lovingly know to me as Shezzy/Shez/Shezalot/Shozes (wow, spellcheck is having a fit right now), has motivated and inspired me to go for more walks. He has been the one I've thought of when craving Aldi's Hazelnut Chocolate, Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream, Gregg's Glazed Ring Donughts, or even my beloved Coca Cola and Milk (Cilk/Moca Mola). He's the one that has inspired me to eat well and be more active.

So just a little note to say thank you Shezzy! And well done!!! You've done amazingly and I'm sooo proud of you. And I love you lots =)

Now, a slightly sombre part of this post is to follow that high note. Patrick aka Patrizio, my soul mate that was my insulin pump, has sadly passed away. Last night whilst doing a set change, he started to play up and after ringing the helpline, I was told that he would need to be replaced. I am currently in a state of mourning, people. Yes, I have grown unbelievably attached to an electronic medical device. I never thought I'd utter those words in my life and yet here I am, typing them out in black and white for the whole world to see. I am officially a freak.

But it is surprising how attached one can get to something so non-human. I mean, I've had this guy attached to my stomach for 19 months. He's stayed by my side all day and all night without fail. I've got annoyed with his beeping, I've appreciated his warnings and reminders, and I've even talked to him. I can't even call 'him' 'it', even though I know he's more an 'it' than a 'him'. Does that make sense? Probably not. Sorry.

So today the delivery man came to give me my new pumps and to take Patrick away. I actually hesitated giving him to the delivery guy. But I was strong. I did it. Patrick is gone but never forgotten. He will always be my main dude and my first pump. Now I have this other one sat on my bed and I need to give him a name. Though in all honesty, I love the name 'Patrick' so much that I might just call this new one Patrick Jr. In memory of old Patrizio.

Though, to be honest, I think I reacted with more emotion to this situation than was necessary due to the way I was feeling before. I felt lonely. One of my beautiful friends got married last weekend. he wedding was spectacular and the bride looked absolutely gorgeous. I am so happy for them, I literally cannot stop a smile from breaking out now while I think of them on their special day.

But weddings, as lovely as they are, are the perfect thing to highlight the fact that you're single. And I couldn't help but feel this loneliness since then. I just felt so alone, even amongst my amazing friends! It's all so annoying and confusing. SO here I was, feeling alone and depressed and BAM! Patrick dies on me. I mean, come on! Not even a computer can put up with me for that long ='(

But meh, I suppose it's just one of those things. When a relationship happens, it happens. I just have to try not to mope about not being in one in the meantime.

So on that joy of a note, I shall say goodbye. I need to get ready to go and chill with one of my amazing girlies. Malibu and coke. . . here I come ;)

Oh and just a quick note to say thank you everyone!!! I have hit over 1,000 pageviews and that's all because of you beautiful people! I cannot express how much it builds my confidence and fills me with joy that I have people interested in my random ramblings! So thank you, thank you, thank you! You guys are amazing!!!

Keep smiling folks!

Ditzy xXx