The 'Guys + Chunky Knit' Conundrum

Hello fellow crazy people! How are you?

It has been ages and for that I apologise. However, I am back and will hopefully stay here for a while.

Before I go any further however, I need to tell you something. I had a, what I suppose you could call,  epiphany. Or maybe it was just a moment of mental breakdown. Whichever one it was, I had it. Let me set the scene. . .

I was in T K Maxx, shopping. I had finished looking in the women's section of clothes so I decided, as a bit of a change of scenery, I would have a look at the men's clothes. So, I was looking at a garment in particular. A grey, chunky knit, men's cardigan. It was beautiful. But as I was feeling the arm of the garment, something happened. Right there and then, my whole resolve to stay single diminished before me. I felt ridiculously vulnerable and alone.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my resolve to stay single had diminished in the Men's Section of T K Maxx.

I kid you not.

So here I am, sitting on my bed, eating Salted Popcorn feeling a little bit sorry for myself. (I also have a massive bar of Galaxy Cookie Crumble, but no one needs to know that minor detail). I have a massive list of things to do before I start into a serious relationship. Things on this list include travelling, travelling and even more travelling. I haven't even done #1 on the list, let alone #36.

However, to keep myself focused I made up a list of reasons WHY I don't want to be in a relationship. It went something like this. . . 

- I'm too 'me' orientated... I don't wanna have to consider someone else's feelings before my own. I wanna think about myself for a change. No one else. Call this narcissistic if you want, I stopped caring a looong time ago =)

- I have too many obsessions... Bruno Mars, Russell Howard, Channing Tatum ... chocolate, just eating in general, to name a few =P

- I like to go out with friends and not worry about what other people think. I don't flirt with guys. At all. But I like to have friends that are guys without someone being jealous =S

- I'm happy. Just as I am =)

- I don't want added stress =)

So, these are my reasons. *sigh of relief*... glad I got that one off my chest =)

So there you have it. I know this is a completely pointless post but I thought I'd grace you with it anyway.

Oh and just in case any of you watch The Great British Bake Off. . . HOW amazing was it?!?!?!

A MAHOOSIVE CONGRATULATIONS to John Whaite for winning!!! (I know it's highly unlikely that John follows my blog, but just in case he ever decides to Google his name, I have hopes that my blog will sneak into the search results and be seen by him =P)

Commiserations to James Morton (his 'Derelict Barn' was brilliant!!!) and Brendan Lynch (a massive contender). Again, I am in hope that they will Google their names and come across this blog xD

Ok guys, thanks for reading!

Keep smiling!

Ditzy xXx

You're Fired

Hello Ladles and Jellyspoons! How are you all???

Right, I'm not going to beat around the bush. I have a huge apology to make, so.........I'm sorry. I have been soooo busy and soooo ill that I really haven't had a chance to write notes in my calender, let alone a blog post =S. I know I have neglected this blog for far too long but I hope this will be the first and last time that this happens.

So, today I have decided to write about....."Young Apprentice". Anyone who is reading this outside the UK, I'm sorry if you have no idea what "Young Apprentice" is. So that you're not left in the lurch, I will try and fill you in a little.

"Young Apprentice" is a T.V show in which about 15 girls and boys aged between 16-17 years old compete to be the young apprentice of the year. Now these young candidates are picked from thousands of entrants. They need to have outstanding qualifications and skills and preferably have their own business. During the show, they are split into two groups and are set a different business task each week. This could be making and selling ice cream; creating a phone app; creating, pitching and selling a mother and baby product; etc. They have to get the maths, market research, creativity and everything else, perfect. The team which sells the most, wins. They then get a treat. However, one of the candidates from the losing team must be fired by none other than Lord Alan Sugar. If you don't know who he is, Google him. I really can't be bothered to explain who he is =S. When Lord Sugar fires someone he always uses the phrase "you're fired" with an assertive point of his index finger.

So anyway, I find this show really interesting and also quite a laugh. Some (or most) of the candidates are sooo opinionated. Some think their ideas are better than everyone elses and really won't let them go. They sulk. They cry. They shout. They backstab. They argue. They boss each other about. Do you see now why it's sooo great to watch??

Now, as I said earlier, these candidates are between the ages 0f 16-17. Most of them younger than me. Now I'm no dope but, these guys have done a lot to be proud of, and let me tell you....they are! But it just made me wonder, If I really wanted to, could I achieve what they have? I mean, these guys have built businesses from scratch. Sure, some of them could work on their vocabulary a little. And some could learn to LISTEN rather than talk and talk and talk. But they have done really well, so a big pat on the back to them.

But back to my epiphany (if I can call it that...maybe it's not the right word. But do you know what? I'm not really bothered! I've been dying to use this word in my blog and so there.....I've done it!) So yeah, back to my epiphany. If I really wanted to build a business from scratch, what would I do? And then it struck me, like a doughnut thrown against a window. I would start a chocolate factory!! I would make the most amazing chocolate know to man. I would create chocolate that tastes amazing, doesn't make you put on weight, is suitable for coeliacs, diabetics and the like. But the most amazing thing about it would be.........................................................................................................................................................
every time a man has a small piece, it would trigger a thingy in his brain to make him WANT to buy his wife or girlfriend or sister or mum, a pair of shoes!!!! Just IMAGINE!!!!!!



Then I awoke from my daydream, had a piece of nestle white chocolate and thought "Ah what's the point? Heaven in a bite is right here beside me and I'm thinking of replacing it with a newer model. Pfft! How dare I! I should just sit back, relax, and enjoy my unhealthy friendship with chocolate.... and worry about the weight, well, when I can be bothered. It's at this moment that I realize, I could never be on the Apprentice. I give up too easily. Dieting.................dieting.....................dieting................ooh is that cake?? See, it's never worked for me!

But for now, gym is a distant memory, exercise is a swear word, and chocolate is my therapy =D.

So until next time peeps! Keep eating =P

Ditzy Polka Dot xXx